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Parent Emeritus
Daughter homeless with Bipolar depression
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<blockquote data-quote="Acacia" data-source="post: 762526" data-attributes="member: 19832"><p>I agree with what others have said to you about keeping your boundary of your daughter not returning to live with you. Yes, it hurts to see them hurting, and that's when our defenses come down, but my experience over many years is that it never helped in the end. The hopes I had that allowing my borderline adult daughter (41) to live with us never materialized except for momentarily. Things always fell apart and her bad treatment of us started again. I also have a difficult adult son (36) who is verbally abusive and manipulative. I have never considered allowing him to live with me again. </p><p> </p><p>Like others, I finally had to say no more. As a result, my daughter cut contact with me and has kept my grandchildren from me. That breaks my heart; however, I have chosen to focus on the only person I can change and that is me. I attend online meetings of copependents anonymous as well as naranon. There are many good books out there as well as videos on youtube. I volunteer to help those who want to be helped, I have a strong support network, I actually try to have fun, and I take care of myself. </p><p></p><p>I will never stop loving my adult children, but I refuse to tolerate being kept in the FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. Keep posting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Acacia, post: 762526, member: 19832"] I agree with what others have said to you about keeping your boundary of your daughter not returning to live with you. Yes, it hurts to see them hurting, and that's when our defenses come down, but my experience over many years is that it never helped in the end. The hopes I had that allowing my borderline adult daughter (41) to live with us never materialized except for momentarily. Things always fell apart and her bad treatment of us started again. I also have a difficult adult son (36) who is verbally abusive and manipulative. I have never considered allowing him to live with me again. Like others, I finally had to say no more. As a result, my daughter cut contact with me and has kept my grandchildren from me. That breaks my heart; however, I have chosen to focus on the only person I can change and that is me. I attend online meetings of copependents anonymous as well as naranon. There are many good books out there as well as videos on youtube. I volunteer to help those who want to be helped, I have a strong support network, I actually try to have fun, and I take care of myself. I will never stop loving my adult children, but I refuse to tolerate being kept in the FOG of fear, obligation, and guilt. Keep posting. [/QUOTE]
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Daughter homeless with Bipolar depression
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