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Substance Abuse
Daughter spiraling out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 697457" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Our ideas of what will work do not necessaily fill their needs. Forced rehab can cause rebellion or hostility so that inside their heads that think, 'I may have to pretend, but this is garbage and I wont really try." </p><p></p><p>For our kids with different or no religious beliefs, Christian schools may just irritate them. AA can irritate non religious kids because of the higher power concept, even though you dont HAVE to be religious to work the program. But the higher power cocept still often turns off atheist young adults. Religious beliefs can't be forced. I am very spiritual so I do believe in a higher power, but when anyone tries to push specific religion on me, I shut down and feel offended and avoid that person. It can be a big turn off.</p><p></p><p> One cant force ones beliefs on others, including our adult children. The country's young are much less organized religion than in our day and so often religious solutions are a wash for these young people.</p><p></p><p>Boot camp can cause extreme rebellion in rebellious kids and often makes them even worse once they get out. These substance abusers are not mainstream compliant teens who want to get ahead using conventional methods. They are strong willed and stubborn and challenging of societys social norms...often feel the normal steps are "stupid."</p><p></p><p>There is no one thing that works for all and if the person isnt ready to change, nothing works. Some desperate, sad, loving, well meaning folks use all their money trying to fix an addicted child only to be left broke and the adult child is still addicted. And now you all have nothing. Love causes us to make these choices, but they really don't work. Don't beggar yourself. Money won't stop addiction.</p><p></p><p>It is only when the person wants to change that anything works and they dont need us for that or all of our hard earned money or for us to pay for apartments, food, cell phones, cars etc. I had better luck withdrawing all support and all toys from my daughter. That made her life difficult and she decided it was too hard to use drugs. She changed on her own with no dime from us.</p><p></p><p>I hope your daughter gets sick snd tired of her substance soon. I'd take her car privileges away. She may throw a fit but driving + intoxication = injury or death or jail to our kids who use and to innocent drivers on the streets. I'd also cut off the cellphone if she wont follow your rules. You don't owe her one.</p><p></p><p>I believe taking away their fun has a bigger impact than anything else, although they still may not quit...not until they decide the substance abuse is ruining their life (thus the withdrawal of cars and phones).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 697457, member: 1550"] Our ideas of what will work do not necessaily fill their needs. Forced rehab can cause rebellion or hostility so that inside their heads that think, 'I may have to pretend, but this is garbage and I wont really try." For our kids with different or no religious beliefs, Christian schools may just irritate them. AA can irritate non religious kids because of the higher power concept, even though you dont HAVE to be religious to work the program. But the higher power cocept still often turns off atheist young adults. Religious beliefs can't be forced. I am very spiritual so I do believe in a higher power, but when anyone tries to push specific religion on me, I shut down and feel offended and avoid that person. It can be a big turn off. One cant force ones beliefs on others, including our adult children. The country's young are much less organized religion than in our day and so often religious solutions are a wash for these young people. Boot camp can cause extreme rebellion in rebellious kids and often makes them even worse once they get out. These substance abusers are not mainstream compliant teens who want to get ahead using conventional methods. They are strong willed and stubborn and challenging of societys social norms...often feel the normal steps are "stupid." There is no one thing that works for all and if the person isnt ready to change, nothing works. Some desperate, sad, loving, well meaning folks use all their money trying to fix an addicted child only to be left broke and the adult child is still addicted. And now you all have nothing. Love causes us to make these choices, but they really don't work. Don't beggar yourself. Money won't stop addiction. It is only when the person wants to change that anything works and they dont need us for that or all of our hard earned money or for us to pay for apartments, food, cell phones, cars etc. I had better luck withdrawing all support and all toys from my daughter. That made her life difficult and she decided it was too hard to use drugs. She changed on her own with no dime from us. I hope your daughter gets sick snd tired of her substance soon. I'd take her car privileges away. She may throw a fit but driving + intoxication = injury or death or jail to our kids who use and to innocent drivers on the streets. I'd also cut off the cellphone if she wont follow your rules. You don't owe her one. I believe taking away their fun has a bigger impact than anything else, although they still may not quit...not until they decide the substance abuse is ruining their life (thus the withdrawal of cars and phones). [/QUOTE]
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