I don't have a clue how to handle this. I will give you some background. ANY thoughts are helpful. There are days I am so heartbroken that I think about ending it, although I never would. I have read so much here, but nothing is quite like this. It is long. I deeply apologize. I am a mother of three grown kids. Kay (not anywhere near her real name) was adopted as a newborn and has always been sweet, but different in some ways. She did fine until age 14 and then started smoking pot and this escalated and I am sure you can figure out the rest. No heroin but everything else. She was in a few treatment centers and stopped using all drugs except pot. I was thrilled. I know now that pot is not benign but at the time it seemed like a good compromise. She got a job and seemed to calm down and met her husband who I will call Lee, not his real name. We loved him at first. He was charmingcabd lovedlKay so much itiseemed. We didnt know he also smoked daily pot and he had a decent job. Life went on and my husband snd I were close to Kay. It was hard to get close to Lee because once they married, he became remote and distant, but he never tried to stop us from seeing Kay. They fought a lot and Kay would call me crying, but she never left. A few times they slapped each other. This scared us but she wouldnt leave and said they both did it so why blame him. He was verbally abusive too. But rigjt now they have bonded tightly over the issue I am going to talk about and they are now tight as two peas in a pod. We hoped they wouldnt have kids . Originally they didnt plan on any. But Kay got pregnant and that is when we first heard about Lee's ideas about child rearing and we had to bite our tongues, hoping Kay would refute him and that his ideas would change. Lee loudly proclaimed that vaccinations were poison and no kid of his would ever be vaccinated at all. He thinks he is a doctor and said that vitamins and organic healrhy food would make the baby's immune system so strong that his child would not need vaccines nor get sick at all. Eventually Kay would sort of agree, but she is so smart that we prayed she would know better once our grandson was born. It didnt get better but we are parents who allow our grown kids to make their own decisions about their kids without trying to interfer and we knew two stubborn, strong personalities like Kay and Lee would never listen to us and the few times we so much as threw out a question Kay went ballistic. Here are a few things she screamed. I cant remember them all. Nor can my husband. Since I asked the question...it was something like So you think Big Pharma (her name for the pharmaceutical companies) are trying to give our kids autism and kill them? Her answers, not verbatim and in no particular order: Yes! Big pharma is so powerful! It controlls the media, all the doctors (or maybe some kinder doctors just dont know the dangers), the medical schools teach only what Big Pharma wants them to know and soon they will be knocking on doors forcing unvaccinated kids and the elderly to be vacvinated! Or they will take the kids. Vitamins plus fresh fruit off the vine and no red dye prevents illnesses and nobody ever needs to be sick. Vaccines cause cancer, alzheimers, autism...it has aluminum in it and that is toxic to the brain. Measles are not serious. If you get the shingles vaccine you shed the virus off your person and are contageous for weeks. Before you think Kay has completely lost it, she directed me to her websites (tons of them) that say exactly what she says plus several docentaries lile Vax. There is a hige cult of young people on the internet who believe this, truly do. My biggest problem other than CPS doesnt do anything about this is that Kay and I were close but she has been with Lee for years now and is starting to be like him. Last tome we spoke she threatened to cut me off from her and grandson if I made one wrong statement. She accused me of mocking her beliefs for askimg her a question. My cell phone was on speaker and my husband heard the whole conversation and he said I never mocked her. She was yelling at me. And it was all about this health related stuff. She said that she expected her parents to validate and support her. Honestly, since we have no control anyways, all we have said is that we support what she does to raise her child even though we took a different path. Period. We never said it was wrong although we do think so This will sound pathetic. Although I have two other kids who think more mainstream and question Kays logic, I dont want to lose this daughter who is our heart. She really wasnt so pushy about her beliefs until maybe six months ago. I am not sure why. She never threatened to cut us off before. It terrifies us but she isnt very pleasant now....happened so fast and its not drugs again. Please trust me that she just smokes pot. Its every day but never made her mean before. How would ypu handle this? Remember one word and your kid will cut you off. And she may anyway but I dont want this. Lee is 34 and Kay is 32. They live three hours from us. We used to visit at least once a month. We havent gone for three months now. Last time we went was when Lee spouted his views for the first time. What is the best way tou feel to handle this? We dont want to lose Kay and the baby but if you think we have to, say so. All suggestions will be respected and talen seriously. Please pretend it is yourself. What would you do? Thanks for reading all this.