Well we have a struggle ahead of us still. I so want to do what is right for my AS and give him every opportunity to heal and recover. We have completed all the application and assessments for long term rehab. We continue to be on the tightrope of bad behavior and addiction hell, while waiting for a bed. He does not bring drugs home. He declares to us that he wants help. He proclaims to his addiction worker and our family therapist that he has evryrhig under control and does not see the need for reahab. Mixed messages. He is failing school at mid term. Still doesn't go on a consistent basis. But insists rehab would interrupt school. He scrapes by doing the absolute bare minimum at everything. I am so fed up. Playing all ends against the middle. I am angry, sad, frustrated and exhausted. We have agreed to play this next phase out to the end of school term (which we all know he will fail to succeed at). He will fight the acceptance to rehab, and his choice will remain rehab or leave. In my gut I strongly feel this will not end well. I am feeling guilty for thinking that I just don't want to do this any more. I want to detach and not so much with love but self preservation. He stole money on Thursday and boldly denied it. Gas lighting at its best. He hasn't been home since Thursday afternoon. I sent him 2 texts yesterday. Not going to bother any more. It is Canadian Thanks Giving. I am struggling to find things to be thankful for. Not much of a post but just where my head and my heart are at.