DDD Update?
- Thread starter PonyGirl
- Start date
DDD
Well-Known Member
Thanks for caring, Pony. It is a very confusing and difficult time for us as we just don't see "a path" that brings hope for the future. We have a couple more weeks to appeal if we opt for that. on the other hand, he is back to "social drinking" which is his definition of have a "couple of cups" of Hennesey or Grey Goose. Yes, the word is "cups" not "shots".
On separate occasions husband (for the first time ever) and I (for about the 10th time over four or five years) tried to explain what "a drink" means.
Before his brain injury I knew his definition was distorted. Now it remains distorted but more dangerous to his brain and to his vulnerable
position on Probation. To go into debt in an attempt to right a major wrong in the system seems less and less logical to me.
We have applied for Disability (as per the Neuro/psychiatric's suggestion) and
the closest thing to a plan we have is to hope he gets approved. Then we will have him pay us for room/board and encourage him to save as
much of the remainder as possible. IF that happens then I am going to
try to teach him about our business so he can work with me and husband can
semi-retire. Should he be able to maintain his focus and get interested
in the store it is remotely possible that he could run the business at some point, be off disability and support himself as well as supplement our income for retirement.
on the other hand if he can't get a handle on his alcoholism and he can't stay away
from his old friends..he'll end up incarcerated again. It's all so very iffy
and even with the Lexapro that I'm back on...I have a hard time quelling
my fears. The good news is that he is trying Cymbalta and another medication that the psychiatrist recommends to see if that helps. He really likes the psychiatrist and when he was in jail promised he would give medications
another try. Fingers crossed. DDD
On separate occasions husband (for the first time ever) and I (for about the 10th time over four or five years) tried to explain what "a drink" means.
Before his brain injury I knew his definition was distorted. Now it remains distorted but more dangerous to his brain and to his vulnerable
position on Probation. To go into debt in an attempt to right a major wrong in the system seems less and less logical to me.
We have applied for Disability (as per the Neuro/psychiatric's suggestion) and
the closest thing to a plan we have is to hope he gets approved. Then we will have him pay us for room/board and encourage him to save as
much of the remainder as possible. IF that happens then I am going to
try to teach him about our business so he can work with me and husband can
semi-retire. Should he be able to maintain his focus and get interested
in the store it is remotely possible that he could run the business at some point, be off disability and support himself as well as supplement our income for retirement.
on the other hand if he can't get a handle on his alcoholism and he can't stay away
from his old friends..he'll end up incarcerated again. It's all so very iffy
and even with the Lexapro that I'm back on...I have a hard time quelling
my fears. The good news is that he is trying Cymbalta and another medication that the psychiatrist recommends to see if that helps. He really likes the psychiatrist and when he was in jail promised he would give medications
another try. Fingers crossed. DDD
Ephchap
Active Member
Well, my friend, let's address the positives ... he's agreed to try medications and is taking them, and you have a family business that he can help out with, if he can stay on the right path. He's never was afraid to work, so hopefully that part of his personality is still intact.
On the down side, I'd be worried about the drinking too. We all know how our difficult child's can't seem to have "just one" of anything. Ughhh.
Hopefully with your guidance, he'll be able to stay on the right path. I'm certainly crossing body parts and sending up prayers.
As for you, please try to take care of yourself. Nothing good can come of you worrying yourself to death and beating yourself up. I know, thinking about the screwed up system can eat you up inside. I've been there done that.
Sending mega hugs,
Deb
On the down side, I'd be worried about the drinking too. We all know how our difficult child's can't seem to have "just one" of anything. Ughhh.
Hopefully with your guidance, he'll be able to stay on the right path. I'm certainly crossing body parts and sending up prayers.
As for you, please try to take care of yourself. Nothing good can come of you worrying yourself to death and beating yourself up. I know, thinking about the screwed up system can eat you up inside. I've been there done that.
Sending mega hugs,
Deb
PonyGirl
Warrior Parent
Thanks for your update DDD. I wish I could offer advice to help ease your fears. The only point I would make is regarding SSI Benefits: at least in Wisconsin, the normal first response is Denial. It takes about a year to finally win the benefit, after several appeals, sometimes requiring legal intervention. Once benefits are awarded, however, there is a lump-sum back payment given, dating back to the original date of request.
Taking into account the documentation you must have regarding easy child/difficult children injury and current cognitive diagnosis, I can't help but think he's definately entitled to benefits. And FL may be different, but in WI, I'd tell you to get ready to be denied on first try.
And as regards fighting the court's decision....perhaps you could do some research on your State's Statutes, and draft an appeal yourself. My experience, I'm so sour on lawyers and the system, I'd try to handle this on my own. I hear what you're saying, it's such a long uphill battle.
Deb pointed out the positives, and I pray easy child/difficult child can find some clarity in his medications. No telling what miracles can occur with modern chemistry! As for his drinking, aarrrgh.
I'm with you 100% on whatever action you take. Hoping for the best, one day at a time.
Peace
Taking into account the documentation you must have regarding easy child/difficult children injury and current cognitive diagnosis, I can't help but think he's definately entitled to benefits. And FL may be different, but in WI, I'd tell you to get ready to be denied on first try.
And as regards fighting the court's decision....perhaps you could do some research on your State's Statutes, and draft an appeal yourself. My experience, I'm so sour on lawyers and the system, I'd try to handle this on my own. I hear what you're saying, it's such a long uphill battle.
Deb pointed out the positives, and I pray easy child/difficult child can find some clarity in his medications. No telling what miracles can occur with modern chemistry! As for his drinking, aarrrgh.
I'm with you 100% on whatever action you take. Hoping for the best, one day at a time.
Peace
SunnyFlorida
Active Member
What's his thinking like? Is he thinking in realtime or thug time? Is he talking about future or just laying low?
I'm thinking he'll qualify for SSI on the first try as his ADL's (activities of daily living) as well as thought process, sequencing, memory, etc are all affected.
Only problem I see is that disability just doesn't pay much and then you can't earn much either.
Forgive my naive self, but what would an appeal do? would it bring it back to court where the SAO will only stonewall and think they're right and will do anything to prove it? Would an appeal get the judge to do what's right?
I was floored with the logic that the PD and the SAO are the ones who barter and the judge just makes sure they do it within the guidelines of the law.
I'm thinking he'll qualify for SSI on the first try as his ADL's (activities of daily living) as well as thought process, sequencing, memory, etc are all affected.
Only problem I see is that disability just doesn't pay much and then you can't earn much either.
Forgive my naive self, but what would an appeal do? would it bring it back to court where the SAO will only stonewall and think they're right and will do anything to prove it? Would an appeal get the judge to do what's right?
I was floored with the logic that the PD and the SAO are the ones who barter and the judge just makes sure they do it within the guidelines of the law.
DDD
Well-Known Member
Ideally, Kris, a "good" attorney might be able to expunge everything that has happened since the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) as he has had diminished capacity and they have not shown any regard for his disability at all. on the other hand, it might just end up a repeat of what it has been already.
What sticks in my craw is that there is a point system in the State that is used to determine if one is "eligible" for prison time. Each VOP adds points to his "record". So...even though the Judge specifically stated that he did not have enough points to be considered for prison, he allowed the SAO to put it out there. Now his points are mounting.
It's hard for him to focus due to his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and it is harder because he is always looking over his shoulder, so to speak. He has agreed to go on multiple new medications but even that is fraught with anxiety because if he should be picked up again "the system" will not maintain those Rxs.
Thanks for caring. by the way I haven't forgotten about you either. DDD
What sticks in my craw is that there is a point system in the State that is used to determine if one is "eligible" for prison time. Each VOP adds points to his "record". So...even though the Judge specifically stated that he did not have enough points to be considered for prison, he allowed the SAO to put it out there. Now his points are mounting.
It's hard for him to focus due to his Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and it is harder because he is always looking over his shoulder, so to speak. He has agreed to go on multiple new medications but even that is fraught with anxiety because if he should be picked up again "the system" will not maintain those Rxs.
Thanks for caring. by the way I haven't forgotten about you either. DDD
