I found this site today and spent a few hours reading posts. It seems there are SO MANY parents out there with the same situation in which I find myself - 19 year old son smoking pot, getting in trouble with the university for alcohol and slipping grades. We are newly aware of our son's activities and still reeling a bit from it all. This is not the young man we thought we knew! However, we are discovering this has been almost a year in the making and are astonished at the lies we believed and HOWINTHEWORLDWEREWESOBLIND???? I realize it is fruitless to ask "Where did we go so wrong?". So, now on to deciding what to do next. Ours is the same old story - great kid, intelligent, active in sports and music, stayed out of trouble in high school (or so we thought at the time). We now have a guy in freshman year of college. Pot smoking, written up for alcohol infractions 3 times at school (yes. 3 TIMES. and we got a letter with no information other than that he would be issued sanctions.) and grades low enough to lose his scholarship. He won't talk to us - no emails, texts, snapchat, Skype. Nothing. NOW WHAT? Unfortunately, my husband and I disagree on what to do and are looking for....something. Do we withdraw financial support and let him fend for himself? Do we continue to pay for college? There are so many differing opinions out there and the therapist we have talked to won't give an opinion. Its the "so what do you think you should do?" approach. I need real help, statistics, possibilities, ideas. You get the point. And to top it all off, my husband and I are living in Europe for a job assignment for the next 2 years and not geographically close to him. I feel I should move back home and take care of this and my husband says it will drive our son even further away. I'm so sad and disappointed and frustrated and hurt and MAD! Help!