Depression and Cleaning

[Coralchet1]

My husband punched a hole in the door and I wrote in sharpie around it: this is love. It's still there. Taunting me.


My whole family makes jokes about the dining room table. It is clutter central. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

Wow, what a loud statement ( this is love) I can feel the pain in that one..as I'm sure many on this site would agree..

 

[susiestar]

Hang a picture over the hole on the door. Just as your 1st step. Then work for 10 min or 1 trash bag each day. on days off, tackle an area, like the dining room table. pick 1 room, that you won't trash, and divide it into steps. Work in there so you see progress and in a week or two you have a clean room.

 

[Nomad]

I would definitely hang a picture over that hole or hire someone asap to fix it. Unhealthy. Sad. (hugs)

Re closets UGHHHHHH

Our Difficult Child 's condo is more or less ok perhaps because she has this once a month cleaning person. She also seems to be trying WITH THE EXCEPTION OF HER CLOSET. OMGGGG

On the floor in her closet is a small mountain of clothes that goes the entire length and width of the closet ...front to back etc. You can barely open the door. IT is creepy. I asked her if I could pay her to clean the closet (out of desperation). She has gained a LOT of weight. (another story/another time). So, I suspect 75% of the clothes in there don't fit her. I suggested that she make three or four piles...one pile for Goodwill of clothes that are very small for her or she doesn't like. One pile that needs washing and one pile to hang up. One pile to throw away. I would pay her a good wage like a job to do the work. She turned me down flat. I offered to give her a gift certificate to a nearby clothing store if she cleaned the closet to replace most of the clothes she donates....nope.

Any ideas on the closet? I suspect in a month or two another layer will go on top of this one.

 

[Lil]

I really do manage to ignore the door - most of the time. I've considered getting a nice sticker or something and putting over it. He couldn't have done the inside of the door...NooooooO. Had to be the hall side.

bigger house equals more things and more space to clutter

I agree. When we do sell our house, Jabber and I are definitely downsizing. A LOT.

Our Difficult Child 's condo is more or less ok perhaps because she has this once a month cleaning person. She also seems to be trying WITH THE EXCEPTION OF HER CLOSET. OMGGGG ... Any ideas on the closet? I suspect in a month or two another layer will go on top of this one.

My suggestion is: Don't look in her closet.

In all seriousness, it's her place. She's not going to clean it unless she wants to and she doesn't want to.

When son had a place with his girlfriend - OMG! It was a STY! They had bags of trash all over. Dishes in the sink for God knows how long. Clothes everywhere! I was afraid they'd get evicted. Thank God the fire was the neighbor and not theirs, but wading thru to get what was salvageable was not a treat.

 

[RN0441]

Our son punched a hole THROUGH his door when he was mad because I knew he had been doing pills and had a bottle of whiskey in there too! I was insisting he open the door!! Husband was there too. Police were eventually called that night. The good ole days.

He then used Cheetos bags which he taped together over the hole. Well that looked nice.

 

[Coralchet1]

I made a nice chicken dinner one night, but son wanted subway. He got so angry, chased me down. I locked myself in my room and he went right through my bedroom door tearing the door right off the door frame. His door is right off his bedroom and then the bathroom door just fell off....my step father helped me fix my door and the frame..my eldest son fixed the bathroom door..
as for sons room, I have cleaned and painted many times. I have thrown things out. He's down to a bed and dresser now. No the dresser never gets used! The floor however does..there's garbage all over the place Again! There's holes in the walls Again! And no door to shut it out...he tried kicking in the back door ( main door of home) now I can see the outside from the inside of the house as there's cracks in the door. I can't afford to get a new door yet...he punched out the storm door window. I'm told from councillors and Doctors to walk away from the violence and lock myself in a room, but he still gets me when he wants too...he doesn't beat me up, but he gets his point across that there is no getting away.
So, yeah..cleaning this house is a great reminder as to what life has been about over the years..I guess that's why I wake up and leave...or sit in a room that is clean by myself.

 

[RN0441]

Coralchet1:

I hope you know that you deserve better than that! Your son needs some type of help it sounds like.

I can't remember your back story but please see a therapist to get your wits about you so you can get a handle on all of this.

 

[Teriobe]

I made a nice chicken dinner one night, but son wanted subway. He got so angry, chased me down. I locked myself in my room and he went right through my bedroom door tearing the door right off the door frame. His door is right off his bedroom and then the bathroom door just fell off....my step father helped me fix my door and the frame..my eldest son fixed the bathroom door..
as for sons room, I have cleaned and painted many times. I have thrown things out. He's down to a bed and dresser now. No the dresser never gets used! The floor however does..there's garbage all over the place Again! There's holes in the walls Again! And no door to shut it out...he tried kicking in the back door ( main door of home) now I can see the outside from the inside of the house as there's cracks in the door. I can't afford to get a new door yet...he punched out the storm door window. I'm told from councillors and Doctors to walk away from the violence and lock myself in a room, but he still gets me when he wants too...he doesn't beat me up, but he gets his point across that there is no getting away.
So, yeah..cleaning this house is a great reminder as to what life has been about over the years..I guess that's why I wake up and leave...or sit in a room that is clean by myself.

He shouldnt be allowed to live there. Call police next time because soon he will be hitting you