Devastated

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
Those who follow my post know of my troubles with my 17 year old son, who’s been in & out of rehabs , in out of juvenile detention. Recently he did a successful month in a residential treatment center & came out seemed to be doing good, got a job, had a girlfriend, was doing good in school. Then slowly things changed , staying out a few days, missed school a few times , wasn’t taking medication. His dad who he lives with was fed up , set up a emergency court hearing, when the judge said he was being detained,he ran out of the courthouse ,( charged with escape) and resisted arrest which involved pushing a officer, (aggravated battery )now he facing juvenile life which means he will get locked up till he’s 21, I am devastated, I can’t control my crying , I’m heartbroken, I just want to lock myself in a room & cry.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Im sorry that you are having to deal with this. Does he have a drug problem? Has he ever been tested after he has disappeared for a few days?

If he does have to stay In a facility until he is 21, will he receive treatment there? I worry that his behavior might be drug related. My daughter was using when she disappeared for a day or two. Ksm
 

BusynMember1

Well-Known Member
Here is an idea.

I don't know what sort of services would be offered, but perhaps he can get good help so that his adulthood can be better. Do they offer help?

If he does well can he get out early?
.
Is he maybe safer there although it will hurt your heart?
.

Blessings and love to you and your son. He is still very young. There is much hope.
 

Helpless29

Well-Known Member
He was tested for drugs but only come up positive for marijuana. I’m sure in jail they will offer some services , the detention center he is going to be sent to , is known to be a very tough one & unsafe , all I could do is pray. I am beyond a emotional wreck. He reacts off impulses , which is why he always gets in trouble, never thinks of the consequences, his chances are up now.
 

BusynMember1

Well-Known Member
The pot of today is much more potent than in our day, thus more serious. He will not be able to smoke it now. My daughter thinks pot is harmless, but it has not been good for her.at all.

Did you.son get an ADHD diagnosis as a kid? Thinking maybe medications can help him think more carefully, especially.since he will have to.stop pot.

I know how this breaks our hearts. I do not make.light of it. Perhaps it won't be as tough as you think. They must have guards watching.

Maybe there is a bright side to this. I hope so and hope you can get help for yourself right now during this difficult time.

Hugs!
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Helpless

I'm sorry to hear about this new development but maybe this is the best thing that can happen. Try to look at it that way.

Our son was in many programs and did well and then would go back to being a rotten egg.

Please try not to worry so much about him. It won't do him any good and it certainly won't do YOU any good. I am a worry wart so I know that is easier said than done!

He is having to pay the consequences for his actions. As a mother of a difficult child that is now doing better - I can tell you that this is good. This is a good thing and not a bad thing.

I had wished my son would get to this point so he would see hey if THIS is how you live then THIS is how you'll live!!! We had to teach him that ourselves by sending him away and THAT was really hard on us!!

Sometimes BAD things have to happen before GOOD things can happen. I've read and heard of SO many stories of people getting their lives together after being locked up or having something traumatic happen to them that they brought on themselves.

This could save his life. Nothing else made him change and he has had many opportunities. You have to grow a thick skin to keep your sanity. I know because that is what I had to do.

Try to take care of yourself and your family. Your son knows you love him and that is all you can give him right now.

:staystrong:
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
It seems when he's on his medications, his behavior and grades improve. If he would just see that. Some kids just don't have the ability to see how harmful their behavior is. The hope is that when they get older they will see it. I'm sure his probation officer and counselors have told him that if he keeps going at this rate, he will escalate to more serious crimes and get a long sentence when he's older. He seems to do fairly well when he's in juvenile detention, even though no parent wants that for their child. It's heartbreaking to think he will be there the next four years in a dangerous environment. I'm hoping that center offers vocational or skills training if he finishes high school. Many of these centers do which really helps stabilize some people and helps them get fairly good jobs upon their release. We don't know what the outcome will be in four years, but a lot of growing happens between 17-21. We can hope things will change. It's impossible to say.
 

WiseChoices

Well-Known Member
I am so sorry to hear of your son's situation. I know your heart is broken, and you are consumed by worry and fear.

Your son has a higher power, just like you do. Maybe you can find some relief in that thought.

Sending love and peace.
 
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