DGD is to check in to rehab in 3 days

ksm

Well-Known Member
I almost hate to get my hopes up... I mean I am glad we got to this point. But I can't let myself think this is one and done.

Will appreciate prayers that she finds the help she needs.

Newksm
 
Prayers and love KSM...she will be in good hands. I do understand the stress of getting them to the finish line (or starting line???) of rehab. It's very nerve-racking because I kept feeling like my son went back out of it up until the last minute. Glad she is open to trying. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
There is hope! I am thrilled for you. People recover all of the time. She has every reason to succeed. Especially your love and constancy and belief in her, and her beautiful baby boy. This is a step that had to happen. You have given her every opportunity to do this. Not every parent would have. And now, she is. Let's see what happens. The ball is in her court now. Regardless of what comes, you will gain more clarity. She has my prayers, ongoing. You do too.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
I can totally understand why some parents feel like they’ve done all they can and turn an adult child over to God. It’s easy to give up on someone who struggles with addictions and behavior problems. However, I think your granddaughter has seen that you’re unwilling to give up on her, and that you never stop believing in her. I think that will help her see that she is capable of overcoming this addiction. You believe in her, which may help her believe in herself. No one would blame you if you threw her out and just gave this whole mess over to God. Sometimes that is all you can do. I hope your granddaughter is appreciative for all you’ve done for her and her son. I don’t know if she realizes the gravity of this whole situation. I hope she knows that without your help, she would have become homeless, and her son in foster care. You know it, but does she know this? The children are the ones who suffer the most in these situations. You’ve been a hero to your great grandson.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Well, that didn't go as planned.

She left Wednesday night, promising she would be home the next morning. She had her suitcase packed and snacks bought. Here it is Friday morning and she hasn't been back or called. She sent my husband a text that her admission date is actually Friday and not Thursday. I texted her a short message to please screenshot that email with that info. Nothing.

Tonight we are to take great grandson to his dad's for the weekend. So husband and I will have some free time...but this is weighing very heavy on us. We have agreed that if she doesn't go...she is no longer welcome at our house. If she tries to take her son, we will need to tell authorities. Breaks my heart.
 

New Leaf

Well-Known Member
KSM,
I am so sorry. I was so hoping for a different outcome for all of you, especially your great grandson. Prayers going up that you will find some respite this weekend. It is a hard journey we are all on.
Gentle hugs
New Leaf
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
oh no, ksm. I am so, so sorry. Let's see what happens. She may yet, come to understand the potential cost of her decision. In any event, I believe it is a good thing, that the baby's best interest, is separated from his Mom's. We all know that he should not be sacrificed for her. This is heartbreaking.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
I called the facility...I didn't think they would tell me much...but wondered what would happen if she decided to go, could we come in late today. Then they told me she contacted them and changed her admission date, they didn't. It's now 2...the time she should be arriving. She did text today and said she planned on going.

But now, I am doubting it... I am not reaching out. Actually hoping we don't see her until we get her son to his dad's for the weekend.

We will tell her she needs to yo to rehab and complete it before she can stay here anymore. If she says she will go tomorrow...then we will tell her ok...but if you leave our house before rehab... do not come back. That's why I don't want Alex here.

He is already asking where she is. He saw her last on Wednesday, early evening.

I am at the point that I really don't want to see her, but her son does. But he asks about her less and less each day.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
She texted last night and apologized for coping poorly and said she would for sure go in on Monday. I didn't text anything back except to tell her we got her son to his dad's house for the weekend. I decided not to interact with her. Her son will return Sunday evening so I doubt that we'll see her at least until then.

If she comes home on Sunday evening saying that she will go the next day to rehab we will let her stay the night but will tell her if she leaves during the night she cannot come back. And if she doesn't finish rehab she cannot come back to live here.

My husband and I are going to enjoy a quiet weekend and invited friend over for supper tonight. Things we don't normally get a chance to do. I have to admit, we are both lost when our great grandson is gone for this long. It's like he is our purpose in life right now. I know it's not how it's supposed to be but we are bonded with him and he with us. I noticed yesterday he had a better day than usual without his mom around since Wednesday. I think he has anxiety when she's here because as soon as he sees her with the purse or keys he starts freaking out. But he knows we will always be here. He was excited to be going to his dad's for the weekend and if our granddaughter cannot step up to parent him and his dad and his wife continue to be appropriate then maybe they can step up and do most of the parenting.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
It's like he is our purpose in life right now. I know it's not how it's supposed to be but we are bonded with him and he with us.
As old as I am I don't know how it's supposed to be.

All I see, hear and feel in your story ksm, is love, devotion, hope, generosity, and responsibility. Isn't that how it is supposed to be?
 
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Crayola13

Well-Known Member
Is his dad still on the right track? Drug-free and working? You mentioned he and wife reconciled and have a new baby. I wonder if he’s still sleeping around on the side. I hope not.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
I think he's on the right track. He works at his dad's small cafe in the town they live in and at the convenience store. They have no car so they don't get out of that little town often. His wife had twins in early December. I was afraid that CPS would step in and take custody, as they did 5 years ago when they had a child...it was the same hospital! The child was premature and had drugs in system. That child was adopted by his mom's mom.

He has invited us in to their house and told us to look around and see Alex's room. He has been very polite to us and thanks us for taking Alex over there. He lives next door to a county sheriff.

It is about 15 miles from where we live. GGS seems excited to go there and seems to have a good time. The wife's two children from her first marriage visits every other weekend when Alex is there. It's a small town of maybe 5000... The dad's dad and step mom live about 6 blocks away.

I now wonder if all the drama between DGD and him was more both their faults and from drug usage. He would go in to rages, and I've now heard (from her) that she would hit him. Neither one was emotionally appropriate.

I have noticed that when husband and I raise our voice, in frustration...not anger...GGS immediately starts yelling Stop GiGi! Or Stop Papa! I am sure he has heard lots worse when he was with his parents. These are not arguments...I might be yelling to husband in the other room that I can't find my keys, and he yells back...did you check your coat from last night. And it still upsets GGS.

Hopefully she will come home Sunday night...and go on Monday. The rehab place just asked me to give a couple hours notice...

Praying!
 

Deni D

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
Staff member
ksm, stuck here, not able to give any actual words of comfort, I'm not so good at that. But in my heart I'm holding up you, your husband, your grand daughter, your great grandson and all surrounding you all in loving hope and prayer for as much peace and light as possible as you all walk into whatever the future brings.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Thank you, Deni D, Copa, Crayola, New Leaf, KTmom, BrokenInside, for all the words of encouragement. I actually feel pretty calm. Venting here and going to alanon (we do not have naranon in our town) must be helping. I don't feel that panic like I used to.

The old me would have been driving around all night, searching for her, calling her, and being in a panic. How sad that this becomes so common we hardly have a response.

I hope I have good news by tomorrow...thanks for being supportive and letting me vent.

Newksm
 
Thank you, Deni D, Copa, Crayola, New Leaf, KTmom, BrokenInside, for all the words of encouragement. I actually feel pretty calm. Venting here and going to alanon (we do not have naranon in our town) must be helping. I don't feel that panic like I used to.

The old me would have been driving around all night, searching for her, calling her, and being in a panic. How sad that this becomes so common we hardly have a response.

I hope I have good news by tomorrow...thanks for being supportive and letting me vent.

Newksm
New - You got this! Your faith will bring you through. We are here for you and you are doing everything that you can with open eyes and a clear mind. God bless you as you go through these next few days that your granddaughter enters treatment. Even being open to it is a first step. It took about 30 days with a few false starts to get my son to the finish (starting) line of the door to recovery. I light a holy candle for my son every day and today I will share my prayer with your family.
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
I just lit a prayer candle, too. My petition was fry or your granddaughter to get herself to the rehab facility tonight. Also, that she will make the changes she needs to make and get those drugs out of her body, mind, and system once and for all this time, plus complete the program.
 
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