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Family of Origin
Did I do the right thing going no contact?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 743396" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Yes I found out some stuff.</p><p></p><p>I found out that I had no medical info on my FOO. Nobody told me anything. Makes no sense. I doubt any of them could even explain that with anything but nonsense.</p><p></p><p>These are in our DNA and nobody told me about them. It was like being part of a closed adoption. And even my Dad, who I do love, never told me about these important issues. It was Keep Away From Swot!! Everything was kept a secret from me. It was sick and mean....but its over. I am good <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Unlike my mom, who was a witch to me, my father split his will three ways. Until my brother, the Executor, actually gave me my share, I was on guard that maybe he would not, so I had our lawyer on alert. My brother's is an honest, good man, but he is under my.sister's influence. Im not even sure he knows it but he follows her lead. I didnt think he would try anything with the will but I wasnt sure.</p><p></p><p>Once I got my share, my brother never spoke to me again but as long as he did me right, I dont really care. Again, when my sister spoke to me in the hospital, where Dad was so sick, my brother was so friendly and kind and loving to me. Even took pictures. The minute Sis and I stopped talking, he turned away from me too. That is what I mean by he follows her lead. I have no idea why. She abused him severely for many years. But that is between them. I dont care.</p><p></p><p>From all my years of therapy, I learned that my mother, who ran the family (Dad worked all the time and only Mom was always there), gave all three of us children different roles.</p><p></p><p>Scapegoat was me. Lost child was Sis. Golden Child was brother. Mother was a borderline or narcissist or both and none of us were going to be problem free with that upbringing. Dad was probably an Overt Narcicist so he was no help. So none of us were hoing to have easy lives with that all going on. And we struggled. Terrible parenting!</p><p></p><p>None of us were healthy regarding relationships and I am the only one with a very loving marriage and family that has lasted long term. I am looking very forward to traveling with my hubby and dogs down south next year in our RV <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>My sister ended up with a severe eating disorder that her child seems to be inheriting and my brother just never had any relationship with anyone who lived with him. Intimacy handicapped probably.</p><p></p><p> My sister had a loveless marriage per her, divorced him, then latched on to an abuser and cant let go. My mother and father affected them more than me in relationships. I was lucky.</p><p></p><p>Sonic is working and doing well and Jumper is happily engaged and doing Corrections at our County Jail. Love her fiance. Princess snd my grand are doing great and were here for Thanksgiving.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I am so glad that your daughter is doing great but also that your son is on the right path! I wondered about your family sometimes. You were always making sure that Son had accountability. What a trooper you are. And a Warrior Mom hero <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> i think your Son will actually do well and that is largely to your credit!!!</p><p></p><p>So happy to see you!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 743396, member: 1550"] Yes I found out some stuff. I found out that I had no medical info on my FOO. Nobody told me anything. Makes no sense. I doubt any of them could even explain that with anything but nonsense. These are in our DNA and nobody told me about them. It was like being part of a closed adoption. And even my Dad, who I do love, never told me about these important issues. It was Keep Away From Swot!! Everything was kept a secret from me. It was sick and mean....but its over. I am good :) Unlike my mom, who was a witch to me, my father split his will three ways. Until my brother, the Executor, actually gave me my share, I was on guard that maybe he would not, so I had our lawyer on alert. My brother's is an honest, good man, but he is under my.sister's influence. Im not even sure he knows it but he follows her lead. I didnt think he would try anything with the will but I wasnt sure. Once I got my share, my brother never spoke to me again but as long as he did me right, I dont really care. Again, when my sister spoke to me in the hospital, where Dad was so sick, my brother was so friendly and kind and loving to me. Even took pictures. The minute Sis and I stopped talking, he turned away from me too. That is what I mean by he follows her lead. I have no idea why. She abused him severely for many years. But that is between them. I dont care. From all my years of therapy, I learned that my mother, who ran the family (Dad worked all the time and only Mom was always there), gave all three of us children different roles. Scapegoat was me. Lost child was Sis. Golden Child was brother. Mother was a borderline or narcissist or both and none of us were going to be problem free with that upbringing. Dad was probably an Overt Narcicist so he was no help. So none of us were hoing to have easy lives with that all going on. And we struggled. Terrible parenting! None of us were healthy regarding relationships and I am the only one with a very loving marriage and family that has lasted long term. I am looking very forward to traveling with my hubby and dogs down south next year in our RV :) My sister ended up with a severe eating disorder that her child seems to be inheriting and my brother just never had any relationship with anyone who lived with him. Intimacy handicapped probably. My sister had a loveless marriage per her, divorced him, then latched on to an abuser and cant let go. My mother and father affected them more than me in relationships. I was lucky. Sonic is working and doing well and Jumper is happily engaged and doing Corrections at our County Jail. Love her fiance. Princess snd my grand are doing great and were here for Thanksgiving. I am so glad that your daughter is doing great but also that your son is on the right path! I wondered about your family sometimes. You were always making sure that Son had accountability. What a trooper you are. And a Warrior Mom hero :) i think your Son will actually do well and that is largely to your credit!!! So happy to see you!! [/QUOTE]
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Did I do the right thing going no contact?
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