difficult child is in an acute partial program and school wants me to fill out a withdrawal form.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rdland, Jan 4, 2012.

  1. rdland

    rdland New Member

    I need some advice on this. Mid-December difficult child school requested we put him back into the acute partial hospitalization program for school because they felt they do not have the resources he needs right now. (he goes there during school hours instead of his regular school and they bus him to and from there)I was reluctant but agreed when I found out they would pay for it this time. The day they called me about this was Thur afternoon to tell me they set up an intake appointment for the next day and wanted to know if I was willing to take him. We were suppose to meet the day before this call on Wed for our first IEP meeting as they completed their part to proceed but I had been sick for 5 days and I had to cancel the meeting due to my fever if 103. difficult child also woke up the day the meeting was scheduled with a fever. So when they called to drop this bombshell to put him back in the program we were both very sick. This call was 2pm Thur and they wanted me to have him at the appointment the next day at 11am to do the intake for the program. I agreed to "see" how we felt in the am and then decide. I did not have a temp the next morning but still sick and difficult child was the same but now had a bad sore throat. I called our principal and left message I was taking difficult child to the pediatrician to check for strep and IF the pediatrician ok it I would take him to the intake appointment.

    At the pediatrician he tested difficult child for strep and influenza (he had flu shot but had all the classic symptoms) and said if negative he could go but we had to make it quick so I could get him home to rest. They were negative so off we went. He did ok during the intake and as we were meeting with the new psychiatrist they had (a 2nd one they added) and the someone came in to tell me 4 people from difficult child school were there forour IEP meeting.:groan:I was livid!!! There was NEVER a discussion that we would be going over his IEP. AND this was at this partial program and not at his school. I was mentally and physically exhausted and voiced my annoyance while they insisted I knew we were doing this. I was so out of tiny this point that I let them go over it. I could not focus on anything and they knew it and finally a 1/2 later they rushed to finish. They said we would meet again in 30 days and I said at that meeting we needed to re-evaluate everything and work towards him coming back. I still do not have a copy if anything reviewed that day. We left and by the time I got difficult child home it had been 6 hours we were out doing all this including picking up medication for an ear infection he had. He now had a temp of 103 and looked so sick. His temp spiked to 104.3 and I know it was because we over did it.
    The following Monday he started at the partial program and went all week till Christmas break.

    I just got an e-mail from our school district for me to fill out a withdrawal form to be dated for Dec 16. I have NOT withdrawn him from there. Are they trying to push him out and if I sign this is he gone from their school? I am not comfortable filling this out at all. They have done nothing for him. They gave him a para educator Oct 31 who he adored and she helped so much. Other than that and putting him thru the evaluation for an IEP they have not put any other measures in place. We had a bad reaction to Vyvanse. Which caused his behavior to deteriorate again at school until we started daytrana. After daytrana it got better but they still felt he needed more help than they could provide. I was ok putting him in this program since the school was paying this time but now I am wondering if they are ever going to let him come back. (the first time he went in oct after the school urged us to try it to help him WE had to pay and our insurance only paid for 6 days at 50% and we paid $2500 out of pocket and was a waste of time since insurance would not allow him to stay longer which hE needed) they said we will meet every 30 days to go over IEP so why would I have to fill out a form to withdraw him?? And shouldn't they actually TRY to help him?? We are really feeling they would rather save their reputation as being one of the best schools vs helping him. Lets get rid of the bad kid before anyone finds out! They would rather pay thousands of dollars to sweep him under the rug and not deal with things.

    difficult child is very intelligent and the month before he left had a+ on all work. He was doing better with learning to deal with feelings and "turn his brain off" when it told him to say or do something bad. His para was excellent with him. They freaked because he said he did not deserve to live and wanted someone to kill him. When we went for his intake at this program he told them he was sad at times and is why he said that. He has not said it since and his psychiatrist is seeing him tomorrow because we are seeing depression and will probably add another medication. he did not say he wanted someone to kill him in front of the class and did it in private with the principal. We are being cautious a d have a safety plan in place since he said those things but he has not said it since. (but does say he is sad) I do agree he is depressed so I hope we can find a medication to help. He wants to go back to his regular school and the fact he is not going there this week also makes him sad.

    Sorry, I am a but all over with this post. I am just fed up with the school. I need advice on what to about this withdrawal form and does it mean they have no responsibility for him if I do sign it???
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2012
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Absolutely do NOT sign that form!!!

    Your instincts are spot on. Go to the school and demand a copy of the IEP from that meeting. Under no circumstances should you withdraw him from the public school. His IEP should reflect a change of placement from his old school to the APP program. Legally, he remains enrolled in his public school but his placement (sometimes called 'attendence center') is the APP.
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Absolutely do NOT sign the withdrawal form. Just because THEY want him in the other program and are paying for it does NOT mean you have to. If they JUST finished the evaluation, they need to come up with services and accommodations to help. Giving him a 1:1 (which PROVED) to help is not trying anything. Trust your mommy gut. If you withdraw him, it will be harder to get him back in. Withdrawing him will also release them from paying any further costs for the other placement. THEY need to PROVE that they CAN'T help him. They can't go from NO help to the Most Restrictive Environment without ANY effort. I, personally, would put him back in the school and call an IEP meeting (you have every right to) to come up with an IEP that YOU approve of.

    Get an advocate ASAP. Our SD tried this with difficult child 1 and we got an advocate and we fought tooth and nail for 5 months to get the SD to listen and provide the services difficult child 1 needed. We had to get OUTSIDE evaluations done because theirs was so cursory that it showed NO problems except behavior. An Independent Education Evaluation showed MANY language processing, reading, and sensory issues.

    Don't let them make you think they have difficult child's best interests at heart and don't let them off the hook so easily. THEY are just watching the almighty dollar and passing the buck. It is THEIR job to educate him!

    {{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both!!!
  4. rdland

    rdland New Member

    Thanks for the confirmation. I was so sick when they pulled that **** with me to go over the IEP but i do believe it said he was going to this program but still enrolled at the school. I guess I need to get an advocate because they are really trying to pull some major **** with us. Unreal!!
  5. rdland

    rdland New Member

    I am ok that he is in this program right now because we can get medication changes quickly. I do not want to take him out of it till we get something in place for his depression. I don't want to make things easier for them but right now I do want him where he is at. Frankly, it is a huge relief to not worry about every time the phone rings it is the school! But honestly, I want his medications stabilized and the dr are there 4 days a week so adjustments can be made fast.

    But once that is one you can believe they will be giving him what he needs! Where do I find an advocate? We really do not have the money for it but they have to stop sweeping him under the rug. This school is suppose to be featured on good morning American soon too. (got that email this evening too thatlets the parents know to watch).
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The fact that the school is willing to pay for this very expensive program is actually a good sign. If you can get an advocate to go with you for the 30-day review IEP, that would be ideal.

    If you want to PM me your town, I can try and match you up with someone near you. We don't always have members that are close enough to each other to know the politics of their region, but sometimes we get lucky.
  7. rdland

    rdland New Member

    School left me a message that signing the paper does not mean they won't continue to provide services. They said he is not attending there right now and is attending another school so I have to sign it. I am having MAJOR pms right now so I let the call go to voicemail so I do not say something I will regret! What should I do now?? I really do not know what to tell them next and want to have a level head when I talk to them.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It



    That IEP meeting was ILLEGAL if they did not give you proper notice - which must be IN WRITING and given days in advance, not a call the night before to discuss something. If they cannot PROVE they MAILED the IEP notice then it never happened, or so atty's here have told us.

    that paper they want you to sign puts ALL the expense back on YOU and makes them responsible for NOTHING. Get an advocate - call the state board of ed for helpwith one, or google you name, state, and education advocate.

    This is really really really typical school system BS and they are great at catching you at bad times and pressuring you to sign. You sign NOTHING other than the notice that says you were there until a lawyer sees it. NOTHING.

    You also can likely find help/info from Wrightslaw - they are an amazing resource. Google will let you see if it is a .com or .org or whatever.
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    My law advocate told me that this district just recently sent bills to several parents who have their kids placed in the intensive programs this district uses refusing to pay. they are pulling strange things with all the budget cuts so another reason not to do this is in case they are trying to make a case to not pay. I agree with everyone... and check the paperwork carefully to make sure that not signing is not implied consent. They can get pretty sneaky and I think now, after the stuff I am feeling (I am the last person not to trust someone, drives my dad crazy) that if your gut says it, no matter how unbelievable it may seem they are probably up to something. The plan should always push toward LEAST RESTRICTIVE ENVIRONMENT and to just leave him there is not a good plan. If YOU feel it is a great place and he needs it that is one thing... but if you don think so, wow....
  10. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just tell them you need to consult with your attorney. It could be a change of placement form.... they dont need a withdrawl. Even when Q went to the psychiatric hospital for four school days I had to sign the change of placement for that short time and it just reverted back after.... but tell them on advice of your attorney (even if you dont have one) you can not sign this until it is reviewed. You can ask them not to call you.
  11. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with Susiestar and I advise you to do EXACTLY what Buddy said. Contact your state Dept of Education. DO NOT SIGN A THING until you talk to an ADVOCATE or LAWYER. You will regret it BIG time. They are BSing you big time. I also agree that they needed to send you WRITTEN PRIOR NOTICE before the IEP meeting. Ask them to prove they sent it and when but then again, they can always make one up to say whatever date they want. Ask them to prove they SENT it to you because you never received it. Call another IEP meeting to get it ALL out on the table in front of EVERYONE including an advocate and/or lawyer.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Totally agree with the others.....do not sign anything.....let us know if you need more input!
    there are lots of skilled warrior moms on this board that can help and advise. Hugs.
  13. rdland

    rdland New Member

    Thanks everyone. Believe me, I am NOT signing anything. I really appreciate all the support and advice. It is hard enough when dealing with difficult child worsening behavior and when you add in our damn sd and it is enough to overwhelm any parent. I wish they would just leave us alone and find another family to pick on till difficult child is back there again! Do you know what brought this all on?? On Tues husband and I got the courtesy automated message to tell me he was absent. It was the sd first day back after break and before the holidays we didn't get the message. The partial program did not start till Wed so I called the principal to let her know he was not absent but the partial program was off. (I had to leave a message for her). I missed her return call where she apologized and assured me they knew he was not absent, blah, blah....then I got this e-mail. Whatever! I need to worry about difficult child getting help and the sd is NOT high on my priority list but I guess I will have to find someone to help me deal with this issue.

    Oh, and at our bus top when difficult child is attending his regular school is a mom whose older boy is autistic she told me they did the same things to them a couple years ago, including showing up at their house uninvited 2 times. (they have showed up here once uninvited). Her boy is now going to a special school for autistic children that the school is paying for but before that they were [email protected] to deal width. (she is glad he is at this special school now) I wish I could find other parents other than this one who have gone thru this to help me deal with them.
  14. jal

    jal Member

    I agree with the others. DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING. My son has been out of district in another school that the SD pays for since 1st grade. He is now in 4th and getting ready to transition back. We never were asked to sign a withdrawl form ever for him.

    And to have SD show up at your door WTH is that? I've never heard of that happening. I'd constitute that as harrassment.

    And yes, you should receive written notice of an IEP meeting in the mail along with a copy of your rights every single time and IEP meeting is to be held.