Hi, everyone! I am new here, so glad I found this forum. My difficult child 2 (DC2) is 20 yo, senior year at University. Did community college for AA degree while living at home , left for Uni last fall and experience away from home for first time has been extremely difficult. After a very brief dating situation that didn't work out for her, she started self harming. This has been an ongoing problem since then. She was in therapy for eating disorder for 3 years, cbt for 3 years before leaving for uni. After the dating experience (3 dates in all) , she felt her behavior had been "out of character" and convinced the therapist and psychiatrist that she was bipolar in addition to her diagnosis of depression, anxiety, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I did not agree with the bipolar diagnosis based on the assertion that the mania was supposedly daughter fooling around with the young man she was dating (normal college aged person's behavior) and that she ordered $75 worth of bracelets to cover up self harm scars after young man broke up with her. Therapist said it was out of character for my daughter (?) and agreed with the diagnosis DC2 had come up with herself. She had been on 4 different medications by that time for depression all of which stopped working. After that, she got medications for bipolar (a mood stabilizer) and another anti depressant which she both stopped taking shortly after starting them because she didn't like how they made her feel . Came home over Christmas break, stopped cutting, went back to school in January, started cutting again, binge eating (gained 80 pounds in 1 year while away at Uni) and stealing food from room mates. She has been home over the summer. She stopped cutting when she got home, binge eating got much better, she started going to gym with me. Took 3 online summer classes. Has never held a job despite encouragement from us and from therapist. Hasn't been in therapy since Christmas break, and is rejecting to go. We recently decided , together with DC2 ,that it would be better for her mental health to stay home for fall semester and commute for the 2 days of classes. It's a 2 hour drive, and I normally don't let anyone drive my car, but I offered I would drive her except for a month when I will be on vacation. She seemed relieved to not have to go live at uni again where she isolated , staying in dark room, in bed, all day and barely making it to class on many days. Things seemed to look up a bit, but now as her birthday is approaching, she started self-harming again and left a bloody tissue in MY bathroom undoubtedly for me to find. I asked her about it , trying to break through the secrecy, and she wouldn't admit to self-harm, but it was clear she was doing it again . We talked the next night, and she was open and admitted to hurting herself , but won't entertain therapy or getting help "because she is afraid they will hospitalize her". She seems very depressed again, and I read that birthdays and holidays can trigger depression for patients. She holds a lot of anger and pain about her childhood, can't let go of her resentment for her Father, and blames her mental health problems on her childhood .(He was dry drunk , returned to AA 2 1/2 years ago, made his amends to both adult children. I know they don't have to forgive him. I went into Al Anon at that time). I am very concerned about the self harm, about her suicidal thoughts. She says she does not have a plan, but feels so low about herself all the time. I have encouraged Al Anon, she made a few meetings, then stopped. She will start many things and can't stick with most of them: meditation, yoga, different hobbies, her major at school, signing up for classes, dropping classes. I have read "Stop waking on egg shells" and sometimes am convinced she has Borderline (BPD), other times , I am unsure. Her last therapist denied Borderline (BPD) when I brought it up, but did mention histrionic PD even though she had never shared that diagnosis with my daughter ? Right now, DC2 won't open the DBT book I got despite the fact that it has a whole page of suggestions for self harm distraction skills. She says she wants to stop self harm, but doesn't seek any help/input for it. Anything I suggest is immediately dismissed as not working for her. I am scared. I have started to listen more and not give advice/suggestions which is hard for me. I feel like I am rescuing her again with driving her to school, then again, family does care for ill family members temporarily. It will be only for 1 semester. In the spring, she can take all online classes and she will graduate in May.