Ronni
New Member
Has anybody ever had a kid who refused to go to school?
Silly question, I'm sure I've come to the right place.
My 16 yr. old son refused to go to school for the last six weeks of the school year 06-07. He was a freshman at the Jr. High. Prior to this, he had racked up quite a few truant days, as well as all the excused absent days he had conned me into. You know the ones, "Mom, please let me just sleep in today, and I promise I won't miss any more days". That was just one of his many excuses. I foolishly fell for them, wanting to believe him, only to get burned again and again.
After meeting with the school psychologist, vice principal, his psychiatrist, and another psychologist who came highly recommended, I was able to get him into a homebound program, where a teacher would either come to the house or meet with him at the public library for a couple hours each day to hopefully help him get through and pass at least a couple of the classes he would've otherwise failed. By the time we got all this in motion, there was only 2 weeks of school left, but surprisingly, he did manage to squeak out a passing grade in 2 of his classes.
So this year, going into high school, he was already credit deficient. My husband and I set up an appointment with the school psychologist at the high school before this school year even started to introduce ourselves, and discuss our situation with our son. This man has been wonderful, but I realize he can only do so much, and has 2000 other students to look after. One thing I asked him is, "what should we do if he starts to pull the same again?" and he said to let the school handle it.
Well, my son did manage to make it through the entire first week of school before it started. He missed a day or two every week after that. We met again with the school psy. and his counselor and after hearing that his goal is to get through this year as easily as possible so that next year he can go to the alternative school (not an option until junior year), we changed his schedule up again, 2nd time, so that he doesn't start school until 4th period.
In spite of all that, he has managed to make it to school only twice in the past 2 weeks. I think that he thinks that this year won't matter anyways, and that once he gets into the alternative school, it will be a walk in the park. Claims all his friends are there (wonderful I know) and they said it's such a great thing there.
I've tried everything to get him to go to school. I've tried taking away computer, Xbox priviledges, withholding money, rides, etc. I've tried rewarding him with things he wants if he goes to school for a determined period of time (he never makes it), told him the only way he can get his driver's license is to go to school and stay in school, but he says he doesn't care. I've tried grounding, which is now a joke, because he just leaves anyways.
This whole thing has been really wearing on me. My husband doesn't even have any control over him. I've had so many mornings where I've gone to work with red puffy eyes from crying after fighting with him to get up. This has not helped my depression, it's been very hard. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
One thing I have not been doing is calling him in, so these absences are all racking up on his record as truencys. He's digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole that I'm afraid he won't be able to get out of. I know in comparison to what some of you have gone through with your difficult child, this is minor, but I see this as the beginning of all that is yet to come, and it doesn't look too promising. It's hard to think positively, and I feel like I'm grieving the child I thought he was going to be. The most useless piece of advice I've been given is "Just make him go to school". :hammer: Gee, wish I'd thought of that!
My question is, what can I expect to happen as a result of his refusal to go to school? I wouldn't think the school or the state for that matter,would just let this go. Is there a chance he will be taken out of the home and put in a detention center or something? He has no other criminal record. I'm just curious what consequences he's lining up for himself.
Just feeling really alone in all this, and needing a soft place to land. Thanks, Ronni
Silly question, I'm sure I've come to the right place.
My 16 yr. old son refused to go to school for the last six weeks of the school year 06-07. He was a freshman at the Jr. High. Prior to this, he had racked up quite a few truant days, as well as all the excused absent days he had conned me into. You know the ones, "Mom, please let me just sleep in today, and I promise I won't miss any more days". That was just one of his many excuses. I foolishly fell for them, wanting to believe him, only to get burned again and again.
After meeting with the school psychologist, vice principal, his psychiatrist, and another psychologist who came highly recommended, I was able to get him into a homebound program, where a teacher would either come to the house or meet with him at the public library for a couple hours each day to hopefully help him get through and pass at least a couple of the classes he would've otherwise failed. By the time we got all this in motion, there was only 2 weeks of school left, but surprisingly, he did manage to squeak out a passing grade in 2 of his classes.
So this year, going into high school, he was already credit deficient. My husband and I set up an appointment with the school psychologist at the high school before this school year even started to introduce ourselves, and discuss our situation with our son. This man has been wonderful, but I realize he can only do so much, and has 2000 other students to look after. One thing I asked him is, "what should we do if he starts to pull the same again?" and he said to let the school handle it.
Well, my son did manage to make it through the entire first week of school before it started. He missed a day or two every week after that. We met again with the school psy. and his counselor and after hearing that his goal is to get through this year as easily as possible so that next year he can go to the alternative school (not an option until junior year), we changed his schedule up again, 2nd time, so that he doesn't start school until 4th period.
In spite of all that, he has managed to make it to school only twice in the past 2 weeks. I think that he thinks that this year won't matter anyways, and that once he gets into the alternative school, it will be a walk in the park. Claims all his friends are there (wonderful I know) and they said it's such a great thing there.
I've tried everything to get him to go to school. I've tried taking away computer, Xbox priviledges, withholding money, rides, etc. I've tried rewarding him with things he wants if he goes to school for a determined period of time (he never makes it), told him the only way he can get his driver's license is to go to school and stay in school, but he says he doesn't care. I've tried grounding, which is now a joke, because he just leaves anyways.
This whole thing has been really wearing on me. My husband doesn't even have any control over him. I've had so many mornings where I've gone to work with red puffy eyes from crying after fighting with him to get up. This has not helped my depression, it's been very hard. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.
One thing I have not been doing is calling him in, so these absences are all racking up on his record as truencys. He's digging himself deeper and deeper into a hole that I'm afraid he won't be able to get out of. I know in comparison to what some of you have gone through with your difficult child, this is minor, but I see this as the beginning of all that is yet to come, and it doesn't look too promising. It's hard to think positively, and I feel like I'm grieving the child I thought he was going to be. The most useless piece of advice I've been given is "Just make him go to school". :hammer: Gee, wish I'd thought of that!
My question is, what can I expect to happen as a result of his refusal to go to school? I wouldn't think the school or the state for that matter,would just let this go. Is there a chance he will be taken out of the home and put in a detention center or something? He has no other criminal record. I'm just curious what consequences he's lining up for himself.
Just feeling really alone in all this, and needing a soft place to land. Thanks, Ronni