Yesterday we drove almost 4 hours for a two hour visit with Difficult Child in her 28 day rehab. The first visit was good, the second was so so. Yesterday was not good.
First, as the kids walked in, she didn't look around for us, but went to the opposite side of room, husband called her name, then she said, I got to see my friends little brother (about two years old) first.
Ok. Then she came over, no hugs. Wants snacks from vending machine as breakfast and lunch was awful. Hand over $3 for vending machine.
Ok. Then says she needs time off when she gets home...can't start her alternate school right off the bat. NEEDS time off. I explained that there will be discharge instructions and appointments and I don't know what is planned at this point.
Then says her dad has plans for some one on one time with her. Maybe she would spend her first few nights with him. I replied that some one on one time with her dad would be nice.
The whole visit consisted of her trying to manipulate us to get what she wants. She wants to see friends, get her phone, drive the car, etc. I told her those were all good goals to work for. When I brought up some things I would like for us to work on... Like doing some things as a family, her having some responsibilities around the house... She shut down. Then she said "I am going to be here for 28 days, what are you doing??"
Oh my. I didn't answer as I knew I would break down. I didn't do the crying face, but two tears slid down my cheek. I wiped them off. Then she said "I am not going to sit here if grandma is crying." And left the visitation room. We got up and left and drove the four hours back home. I was devastated.
About 9:30pm she called us and apologized. She said she was on the verge of tears and didn't want to do that in front of the other teens. She said she had been more depressed than usual. She said she came back but we had left...
Some positives...on our previous visit, she told us where to find a meth pipe she had made, hidden in a stuffed animal and asked us to destroy it. And destroy the teddy bear...from her Xbf who got her started on meth.
She also had a copy of a poem about meth that a young woman wrote - before she overdosed and died. It meant a lot to her and she read it out loud to us.
Half way thru this residential treatment... I hope it gets better.
Ksm
First, as the kids walked in, she didn't look around for us, but went to the opposite side of room, husband called her name, then she said, I got to see my friends little brother (about two years old) first.
Ok. Then she came over, no hugs. Wants snacks from vending machine as breakfast and lunch was awful. Hand over $3 for vending machine.
Ok. Then says she needs time off when she gets home...can't start her alternate school right off the bat. NEEDS time off. I explained that there will be discharge instructions and appointments and I don't know what is planned at this point.
Then says her dad has plans for some one on one time with her. Maybe she would spend her first few nights with him. I replied that some one on one time with her dad would be nice.
The whole visit consisted of her trying to manipulate us to get what she wants. She wants to see friends, get her phone, drive the car, etc. I told her those were all good goals to work for. When I brought up some things I would like for us to work on... Like doing some things as a family, her having some responsibilities around the house... She shut down. Then she said "I am going to be here for 28 days, what are you doing??"
Oh my. I didn't answer as I knew I would break down. I didn't do the crying face, but two tears slid down my cheek. I wiped them off. Then she said "I am not going to sit here if grandma is crying." And left the visitation room. We got up and left and drove the four hours back home. I was devastated.
About 9:30pm she called us and apologized. She said she was on the verge of tears and didn't want to do that in front of the other teens. She said she had been more depressed than usual. She said she came back but we had left...
Some positives...on our previous visit, she told us where to find a meth pipe she had made, hidden in a stuffed animal and asked us to destroy it. And destroy the teddy bear...from her Xbf who got her started on meth.
She also had a copy of a poem about meth that a young woman wrote - before she overdosed and died. It meant a lot to her and she read it out loud to us.
Half way thru this residential treatment... I hope it gets better.
Ksm