Hello everyone. I have been a reader of the forums for quite some time (sooooo much helpful information) but this is my first post. I have two children: My Daughter is 23 years old. Currently lives with me (in an attached in-law suite) rent free. Not currently working but starts a new full-time job with benefits on January 6. She was fired from her last job (a good local government gig) for using parking validation intended for customers. We have been told she has Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Bi-polar. A little over a year ago, she was in an approximate 9-month relationship with a recovering heroin addict. They were living on their own, both working, and doing well, then he relapsed, and purposely overdosed. She has been home with me since, and the bad things about her quickly got worse. She has been in counseling on and off since she was 6. She has tried every medication known to man, and none seem to work. Last year, she went through TMS treatment. Those of us around her seemed to notice a difference, however, in her mind, nothing changed. She goes into rages, destroying my items, screaming and threatening harm to herself and others. My dog has even bit her before, because she is so volatile, and he is very protective of me. At one point when she threatened suicide, her dad and I joined forces (we have been divorced for 10 years) and somehow convinced her to go the emergency room. Once we got her back there, we showed them text messages she had sent to us, and they kept her for a 3-day hold. They let her out at the end, but I honestly believe that was because she knows what to say to make people (doctors, therapists, family, etc.) think she is okay. I KNOW that she will never voluntarily go into any type of hospital, treatment or facility again. She has hinted recently that she has some past drug issues (snorting percs). Of course, we really don’t know what is true, and what is an attention-grabber with this one. My son is 18 years old. Well rounded, does well in school (when he wants to), is a hard-worker, and honestly, is what has kept me going. He broke up recently with his girlfriend of 2+ years, and we started to notice some changes. We just found out he has started smoking pot. To be honest, after all this child has seen and dealt with regarding his sister, I surprised he faired so well as long as he has. He has always just flown below the radar, I guess and has always been a good kid. As I’m sure everyone knows, much of our attention has been on her since she was little, and while we’ve always made extra efforts to try to make it fair, he gets the short end of the stick. I am shocked to learn of his drug use, as is his dad, but his dad is taking it a lot harder. He has fired him from his job (Dad owns his own business and son works for him part-time while he is in his senior year) until he can pee clean. This all happened December 23rd, which led to a huge downward spiral with our daughter. In the past two days, she has texted both her father and I repeatedly. Nasty, nasty texts, wishing death upon us, telling us how bad we suck as parents, etc. She wrecked my Christmas Tree and threw ornaments, and her stocking presents on the front yard. Destroyed the food I made for our extended-family Christmas Eve Dinner. Did show up at my brothers to “celebrate” with family but stayed on the couch and slept the whole time. Barely spoke and did not thank anyone for gifts. She texts her brother and cousin and her Dad’s parents trying to get them on her side, and of course only telling them what she wants them to hear. That night, after such a horrendous day, I arrived home to a long letter from her, basically saying she wished I understood her better, she acts out because it keeps her from hurting herself, and that everyone just stays away from her and never checks on her. This is the truth. In the past few years, I have distanced myself from her more and more. When she is doing good, I will talk with her, joke with her, do things for her, etc. But when she flips the switch, I just totally ignore her. More for my own mental and physical health than anything. Any advice I give is brushed off, or ridiculed, so I’ve just stopped giving it. Normally, both kids will go with their Dad’s new family on Christmas Day, so I made plans with my “friend” to spend the day with his family. Well that set it all off again. I ended up having to block her on my phone. I managed to enjoy the day but was scared to go home and see what she had done. Turns out she just flipped over some furniture. I am putting my house up for sale soon, and plan on getting her out before that time. She lives like a pig, and there is no way I could show the house on short notice with her there. Not to mention if there is a showing scheduled and she has one of her episodes. Buyers would run for the hills!! Once I got home Christmas Night, she was still spouting off. I was so glad to get to work this morning, I couldn’t believe it. Something must change. I will not continue to walk on eggshells in my own home, I will not continue to be disrespected and verbally abused, and I will not continue to have the things I have worked so hard for ruined. I have decided to go back to therapy for myself, as I haven’t been since before her boyfriend died. At least that gives me a sounding board, some reassurance that I’m doing the best I can, and some fresh advice and outlook on the situation. Many blessings to everyone dealing with things such as this. While I would never wish it on anyone, it’s somewhat reassuring to know that I am not alone. Fingers crossed that 2020 is the year it starts to get better!