There was no trigger than I can pinpoint. Nothing big happened. That's what is so frustrating.
A quick little view of her past.
Rileigh is the 3rd of 4 children. My oldest is a girl 11, then a girl 9, then Rileigh 7, and then a boy 3. I did have a still birth when Rileigh was almost 3. I honestly think this is when some of her issues started. I was admitted to the hospital in pre term labor at 28 weeks (april 2004) with my son. I spent 6.5 weeks there trying to stay pregnant enough to deliver a healthy baby. I was discharged home, and 2 days later my son stopped moving and when we went to the doctor they told us he died. She was too little at that time to understand the baby died because she never actually got to see him. We had a funeral for him and all my girls went. We wanted them to be able to say goodbye even though they never met him. She didn't really understand. But my girlfriend babysat for me during that time, and she said she saw the changes in Rileigh. She was the baby, who I still rocked at night before bed and suddenly I wasn't there. And because my husband had to work they only got to come see me once a week. Shortly after that I got pregnant again, and at 23 weeks I was again admitted to the hospital for pre term labor issues (March 2005). I spent 3 months in the hospital on bedrest. So again I was gone. When she was a baby she was difficult just in that she wanted to be held from day 1. She hated the bouncy seat, the swing, the carseat...everything that didn't involve me holding her, and she screamed. She also had undiagnosed GI problems. She was constipated all the time, she had a hard time pooping, but nothing that would have led me to believe she had any kind of behavior problem.
She was always more hyper than my other 2. She has always been kind of like a tornado when she goes through a room, she'd leave a path of destruction. She ***** her thumb, and since she was a baby she has been pulling her hair out. I asked the doctor and they thought maybe it was just a nervous habit kind of thing. She pulls a strand out and ***** on it (yucky). She even used to pull mine out to **** on it. Never did figure out what that was about. She still does it but minimally. She also used to scratch her forehead when she sucked her thumb, causing scabs and little infections. We finally got that stopped about a year after it started. I'm not sure if any of these little issues have anything to do with the big picture or not.
When she finished pre K when she was 4 1/2, I didn't think she was ready to move up to Kindergarten and I was going to keep her back, but her teacher said they were all immature (many late birthdays in her class, Rileigh is end of August) and that she'd fit right in with them when they all moved up. She gave the K teacher a hard time, but not overly, just a little hard headed, not following directions etc. Then in first grade I began to suspect ADHD, but her teacher didn't think she had it. And she actually had a pretty good rest of the year with the occasional outbursts and issues. This year again I suspected it, and the teacher thought she was just very immature, but did not think she had ADHD. But now, I think her behavior is becoming an everyday occurence in class, very disruptive and I don't know what to think.
I was away for 3 nights because I walked in the breast Cancer 3 day. But she spent 2 days with one of my sister in laws and had one on one with them and got to particpate in her own walk, so she didn't seem affected by me being away for 3 days. So i really dont' know why suddenly her behavior has become so horrid.
We recently implemented new behavior charts (probably about 6 weeks ago) with a point system. When they earn points they earn rewards. (My husband and I have been in marriage counceling for over a year, we are done now and getting along phenominally), our councelor recommend the new charts and she also said once they earn something, they should get to do it no matter what happens. She said when we get paid at work we get paid no matter what, they don't come and take our pay away because we did something wrong. So I thought okay, positive reinforcement, and then the next day if she didn't earn something, then she doesn't get it. I'm not seeing much of a difference. I did have to take girl scouts away. that is not an earned reward and I didn't feel she should go due to the really bad week she had in school. That argument and tantrum lasted well over an hour. We also have a pretty good schedule (it's typed and on the fridge). school, snack, homework, chores, reward, reading time, alone time etc, then bedtime schedule. My husband also just had a one on one day with just her. Nothing seems to be helping. I wish I could figure out where all this is coming from.
Thanks for the responses, it's good to know no matter what is going on, there is support.