Doing all the wrong steps...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by tryingtobestrong, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. Well, my counselor has told me that my son is destined for relapse. He is taking all of the wrong roads. Refused sober living, left IOP and now has started a new relationship with a girl he met... He is not 3 months sober yet.
    I feel like it is a ticking time bomb.
    I can see him falling hard and diving into this relationship, giving up his weekend overtime work, spending lots of money on gifts for her just like all of his other past girlfriends.
    I know this is out of my hands. Wishing I could just pull down the blind and let go. I need to but I can't help but worry.
    I have reminded him to keep up going to his aa meetings... It most likely fell on deaf ears.
    I can't control him I know that. But when the world crashes, who do the call.... Mom
    He said he told her about being in recovery and she said she will support him through.. All I can do is pray.
    Thanks for letting me share.
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet


    So sorry to hear this but you know that YOU cannot prevent HIS relapse.

    Don't we all wish that were possible? It's his journey and on him.

    It is good that you are talking to someone about this. I know that it helped me tremendously.

    Read my post on "what is addiction" on this forum that I copied but I think it is very good. It shows how much they care about us when they are using. The answer is: not at all. We are the means to and end.

    Let him feel the natural consequences of his choices. That is what we have to do as parents of an addict. It's hard and not normal but it is the only way that we can truly "help" them.

    If he does not do what he needs to do then he is not ready to be sober and that is on HIM.

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  3. Smithmom

    Smithmom Active Member

    Waiting for the train wreck. You know the switch is flipped. You know trains are coming in opposite directions. I chose not to stand and watch. My choice. I'd rather know its going to happen from a far away distance. My only way to deal with the terror.

    And unless the call is from a hospital doctor I don't take the call. Who's he gonna call? Don't know but its not me. He needs to be bailed out? Sorry tapped out. Need me to drop everything and pick you up? Sorry, got a life. Try a taxi. Need money for car you wrecked to get you to work? Take the bus. Lost the job? Sorry. Try the want ads, don't know anyone. my contacts too valuable to waste getting you a job you're only going to not show up for cause you're high. You get the picture. Not using me anymore as long as you're using. I don't deserve this life.

    Did all that for too long. My philosophy. My choices. He makes his I can't control. I make my choices.
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member