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Failure to Thrive
Don’t want to be B’s mom anymore
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<blockquote data-quote="Lila256" data-source="post: 739855" data-attributes="member: 22431"><p>I don't have a lot to add in terms of suggestions, but I went through the same thing with my partner and his son. I repeatedly told doctors that I believed he had both autism and some type of psychiatric disorder (likely Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) in my opinion) because of my experience working with a range of people with various disabilities, and they repeatedly gave us behavioral plans to follow that never worked. We had been to every professional in two counties looking for answers, following every plan and lead to no avail, until after he had wracked up multiple criminal charges and my partner was forced to give up parental rights, and then they diagnosed him with "high functioning autism and prodromal stage severe mental illness." No kidding! These "professionals"..</p><p></p><p>My partner and I are also going through the same tension you are feeling. When we were getting to the point where it was no longer safe for my stepson to be in the house (because he tried to poison his dad and threatened to kill me, and was also abusing our cat, etc.), my partner's response when we were considering whether to bring him home from the psychiatric ward or not was, "Well, I would bring him home." My thought was, "Of course you would. You are not the one that manages his issues day to day." He was a good dad and generally had my back and did what I asked him to, but he wasn't the driving force behind his son's care. I was, and I no longer felt safe. I told him I completely understood that he wanted to bring him home and I would never try to come between him and his child, but his son was not coming back to my house even if he had to move elsewhere to care for him. He chose to give up parental rights, but I have always got the feeling he in part blames me, even if he doesn't say it. We are continuing to work through this stress even though my stepson has been in a specialized facility for about a year and a half. It is so rough, and you are most definitely not alone!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lila256, post: 739855, member: 22431"] I don't have a lot to add in terms of suggestions, but I went through the same thing with my partner and his son. I repeatedly told doctors that I believed he had both autism and some type of psychiatric disorder (likely Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) in my opinion) because of my experience working with a range of people with various disabilities, and they repeatedly gave us behavioral plans to follow that never worked. We had been to every professional in two counties looking for answers, following every plan and lead to no avail, until after he had wracked up multiple criminal charges and my partner was forced to give up parental rights, and then they diagnosed him with "high functioning autism and prodromal stage severe mental illness." No kidding! These "professionals".. My partner and I are also going through the same tension you are feeling. When we were getting to the point where it was no longer safe for my stepson to be in the house (because he tried to poison his dad and threatened to kill me, and was also abusing our cat, etc.), my partner's response when we were considering whether to bring him home from the psychiatric ward or not was, "Well, I would bring him home." My thought was, "Of course you would. You are not the one that manages his issues day to day." He was a good dad and generally had my back and did what I asked him to, but he wasn't the driving force behind his son's care. I was, and I no longer felt safe. I told him I completely understood that he wanted to bring him home and I would never try to come between him and his child, but his son was not coming back to my house even if he had to move elsewhere to care for him. He chose to give up parental rights, but I have always got the feeling he in part blames me, even if he doesn't say it. We are continuing to work through this stress even though my stepson has been in a specialized facility for about a year and a half. It is so rough, and you are most definitely not alone! [/QUOTE]
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Don’t want to be B’s mom anymore
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