37 year old daughter with 44 year old boyfriend living their normal secretive lifestyle. I have not said one word to the boyfriend in 7 months. Christmas eve my daughter and boyfriend go to his mothers home and find his mother dead. She had been sick with the flu. Both daughter and boyfriend are frantic and manic. It was horribly hard for both of them. My daughter is tacky to me on most days but since this has happened, needed my support. My husband and I had a few plans but decided to stay close to home so we can offer support. My daughter's boyfriend's entire energy is horrific but I still tried to give him comfort. My daughter's boyfriends mother was a major enabler.. He is 44 but acts like 10. I had met his mother once and wanted to talk with her but she was not interested. She was a lot like him, no eye contact and no interest in me at all, barely a hello. I was so sad after I met her that I actually cried. My daughter may have told her BS about me. My daughter likes to re write history to make her sound like a victim. Anyone that knows us both, her friends and mine will tell you that she is way out of line. The total nonsense lifestyle, the lies, the up and down craziness, the coldness, the aloof, the sharp tongue, the mean attitude all of this she dishes out to me and yet I made myself totally available to her when she is hurting and stressed. I re arranged my life to be of support to her.. Who is the crazy one? These two hurt my spirit on a regular basis and I am standing with them, driving them places and making sure they are ok. I need to go back to therapy to see why my need to try to connect and comfort them is over powering my need to step back. My daughter has told me sincerely that she has appreciated all the support I have given. The boyfriend even said thank you for the ride to his mother's funeral. Yes, believe it or not a thank you from him after 8 years. It sounded like a real thank you and not just lip service. Did we move one inch forward? Will there be changes in the right direction or will this death end things in a downward spiral? The next few months will be very interesting. I had the flu, sinus infection, shingles and depression. I ache everywhere mostly from the depression. I have enviromental depression, but can get a handle on it when I get alone time. I get shocked to the core with ugly behavior, I know not to take it personal and ugly behavior says more about the person spitting the venom but it still shocks me to the core. I was raised in a very peaceful enviroment by my grandmother, she was a spirit filled lovely person. There was never a harsh word, alway positive, lots of laughter, lots of love. Now I have this chaos that sends me into a tail spin. I am tried, deep down tired to the core of my being.