dual diagnosis

momrx3

New Member
Has anyone had experience with an adult child who has bipolar and substance addiction. I am just completely at my witts end.
 

Deni D

Well-Known Member
Yes, my son was both for a period of time when he also took drugs. It's common for people with mental illness, but not actually common for programs that claim they are dual diagnosis to actually be dual help. Maybe things are a bit different in these past few years, but I doubt it, I'd try to steer your child more towards help for his mental illness if you have any influence if I were you.
 

momrx3

New Member
Yes, my son was both for a period of time when he also took drugs. It's common for people with mental illness, but not actually common for programs that claim they are dual diagnosis to actually be dual help. Maybe things are a bit different in these past few years, but I doubt it, I'd try to steer your child more towards help for his mental illness if you have any influence if I were you.
I am certainly going to try. His father was Bipolar and abused substances as well. I tried to keep our family together because when it was good it was really good. Looking back I think I should have maybe left him sooner. It is very eerie how he has so many of the same characteristics. I divorced him when my son was 17. I have 2 other children and older daughter and a younger son and they are doing quite well. I had to have my son leave my property because he had put his deceased father's camper on it and I was fine with that until he then moved in a girl who would bring her 3 kids over and they were selling and doing drugs in front of them. I just could not have that. It breaks my heart and it was a horrible ordeal. At the moment I am not even sure where he is living.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Hi

Welcome! Sorry you have to be here? How old is your son?

If he is an adult he is no longer your responsibility. Many do drugs to cover mental illness.

You have to protect the rest of your family and you cannot let one person ruin it for everyone else and they certainly can and will.

:notalone: :staystrong:
 

Deni D

Well-Known Member
I think I should have maybe left him sooner
Most likely it wouldn't have made much of a difference, I think. My son's father exercised his visitation rights very sporadically as my son was growing up. I remember wondering for so many years, how could it be possible that my son has these couple of really rough personality traits which are just like his father's when he's had so much more exposure to other ways from other people? Still makes no sense other than we are born with certain dispositions, we see it in ours and others children, how they are so much different from each other.

It seems you had no choice but to have him removed, as tough as it was on you. I hope he has a little insight and gets some help for himself.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Hereditary seems to be far more powerful than nurture. My adopted daughter grew up with us but is nothing like any of us. My two biological kids fit in very well with our family. I think that's why sometimes kids resemble the parent they don't see ad often. Genetics matters!

I am sorry you are having problems. You can not help or change your son. Only he can do.that. I know it's hard to hear, but it's true.

We have NO control over others, not even beloved children.

It took me a few years in Nar Anon and with seeing a therapist to save my marriage, connect again with my two nice children, let go of Kay with love, and stop trying to control her (she is in her 30s...I went without help for ten years)....and to start loving ME.

I had to learn that taking care of myself was the best gift I could give to everyone, even Kay. My pushing her and handing her money and crying over her bad life did not help her one bit. She got worse. Until we let go, we could not survive as a family. She is doing mildly.better now but nothing great. The rest of us are close and solid now. I am able to have fun again and not feel guilty when I do.

Kay is an addict with mental illness. She refuses help. There us nothing WE CAN DO TO MaKE HER HELP HERSELF, BUT WE CAN SET STRONG BOUNDARIES FOR US AND BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT WE do HAVE.

I gave Kay to God. That helps me as He is more powerful than me. If God is in your life I recommend this. I also strongly recommend going to NarAnon meetings (they have them remotely too...look up NarAnon Meetings on the internet.) The friendship and help we both got can not be expressed. Also a good therapist can help. I do not recommend trying to go through this alone. It's too hard and I never would have gotten healthy on my own.

You took care of yourself by removing your son with the drugs and girlfriend. That was a no brainer. Don't feel bad.

My Kay is homeless somewhere across the country.


Love and hugs.
 
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