Thank you Tanya for posting that article on enabling. When I look back I can see that by helping my daughter I was not helping her at all. I thought it was helping but in reality it calmed my nerves and kept her stuck. I always remember 'Do on to others how you would like to be done' but that does not work with the mind set of my daughter. My daughter recently read a book that has made a positive change in her. I do not know the name of the book. I have noticed that when she is complaining she catches herself and tries to make it positive. She used to go on and on about how horrible her periods are, how broke she is, how awful her boyfriend is etc etc and now when she goes into a negative ramble she stops in the middle and moves it to something positive. On Oct.1 she had better pay all her bills to us or else she is moving out. NO more waiting another month, helping her with anything, or trying to work something out with her, we are done with that and there is NO going back. Our days of enabling are done. I must admit that my husband was done a long time ago, he had the strength to do it, I was not that strong at the time because we all know it takes mega strength to just sit back and watch them fall. I believe I have the strength now...It is sink or swim for her and if I see her falter I may have to get out of town because it is very hard for me to watch. A while back my husband and I took our daughter to our financial adviser to help her set up some funds and invest for her future. My daughter asked the adviser about our financial situation and the adviser told her 'You do not ever have to worry about them' This made me mad, first of all it was none of my daughters business, and it was after that she decided to open her expensive spa thinking that mom and dad would just cover it. I do not think the adviser thought she was doing any harm, she probably thought this was a concerned daughter for her parents future.. We will be having a meeting with our adviser and will be discussing this. Most people that do not have troubled kids have no idea the mind set of a child that truly does not care about the out come of their parents. They may act like they do and because you love them so much you want them to care but just look at the tone and actions, it speaks volumes. The weird thing is that my daughter calls me everyday. With her disorder, I think she cares sometimes, sometimes not, it is always off and on but she has to know what I am doing all the time. When my daughter went to college overseas she did the same thing everyday even from the other side of the world.. I feel this is unfair because I do not know most of the stuff that is going on in her life, it is a big secret, but I share my life with her. When she calls I do not listen to words anymore, I just listen to tone and put the pieces together like a detective. I recently won an award, my daughter posted that on her Facebook. This is huge, she never posts anything about me, I was surprised and shocked that she would do that and even though it was a nice thing to do, I wondered why she did it....Everything she does I have to examine and examine again because she has done me so very wrong in the past. Does she sense that I am about to let the entire reins out of my hands? As in the past when I get too excited about her getting on the right path and I think she is finally moving forward, something stupid happens and it all goes back to square one. I can always hope and pray that this time it sticks.. Please God help her move forward to make good wholesome decisions so we can enjoy this stage of our lives to the fullest. This prayer goes to all of you that want nothing more than for your children to be good contributing humans.