dashcat
Member
Sigh. I just need to vent. I know I can't do a thing about this situation but I am AMAZED at the scope of my X's enabling.
difficult child lives with him. She is 19, left college 3/4 of the way through her freshman year, has worked part time (very minimal) and just lost her seasonal retail job. When she was with me and unemployed, I got her up every day at put her to work. I am on disability, I go to school, work hard around the house, volunteer and also work when I can. I do not sit around, and neither will she. It helped that I was moving at the time, but she worked pretty much eight hours a day around here. She got a part time job, moved into a hotel with a guy she met on the internet, and then moved in with her dad when she (he did not work or even attempt to work) ran out of money.
She has no savings and, now, no job. She has outstanding student loans and, tonight X told me she owes him a month's rent, owes for the texting on her cell phone (we still have a family plan and I told him a long time ago, I would pay my half but would not fund her texting) and owes him for the insurance on her phone.
Her boyfriend just started working 3rd shift. Tragedy! She now stays up all night texting him at work, leaves the house at 8:00 a.m. and goes to his parents house, where they sleep until dinnertime. She comes home when he goes to work and repeats the cycle.
I cannot believe he puts up with this. I can't do a thing about it - i literally cannot even discuss it with him (he's textbook passive aggressive ... one of the chief reasons we are divorced ...there is no talking or reasoning with thisi man about ANYTHING).
She has quite the life. A roof over her head ... two roofs, really. She is responsible for NOTHING. (He has a cleaning lady and lives in a condo - no yard work) She has a car (that he funded part of, the rest being funded from a CD I'd taken out for her from her babysitting money ... to show her the value of compound interest!), and somehow manages to pay for gas. No job, no school, nothing to do but text and sleep with her boyfriend. No rules, no responsbiity.
The good news is the same as the bad news. It's out of my hands.
in my opinion no ninteen year old should be able to live like this. The options I gave her were: go to school and get good grades OR work - full time - and pay rent.
No exceptions.
ARGH! How in the world will she ever learn responsibility or, at the very least, live with the consequences of her choices?
Thanks for listening....
Dash
difficult child lives with him. She is 19, left college 3/4 of the way through her freshman year, has worked part time (very minimal) and just lost her seasonal retail job. When she was with me and unemployed, I got her up every day at put her to work. I am on disability, I go to school, work hard around the house, volunteer and also work when I can. I do not sit around, and neither will she. It helped that I was moving at the time, but she worked pretty much eight hours a day around here. She got a part time job, moved into a hotel with a guy she met on the internet, and then moved in with her dad when she (he did not work or even attempt to work) ran out of money.
She has no savings and, now, no job. She has outstanding student loans and, tonight X told me she owes him a month's rent, owes for the texting on her cell phone (we still have a family plan and I told him a long time ago, I would pay my half but would not fund her texting) and owes him for the insurance on her phone.
Her boyfriend just started working 3rd shift. Tragedy! She now stays up all night texting him at work, leaves the house at 8:00 a.m. and goes to his parents house, where they sleep until dinnertime. She comes home when he goes to work and repeats the cycle.
I cannot believe he puts up with this. I can't do a thing about it - i literally cannot even discuss it with him (he's textbook passive aggressive ... one of the chief reasons we are divorced ...there is no talking or reasoning with thisi man about ANYTHING).
She has quite the life. A roof over her head ... two roofs, really. She is responsible for NOTHING. (He has a cleaning lady and lives in a condo - no yard work) She has a car (that he funded part of, the rest being funded from a CD I'd taken out for her from her babysitting money ... to show her the value of compound interest!), and somehow manages to pay for gas. No job, no school, nothing to do but text and sleep with her boyfriend. No rules, no responsbiity.
The good news is the same as the bad news. It's out of my hands.
in my opinion no ninteen year old should be able to live like this. The options I gave her were: go to school and get good grades OR work - full time - and pay rent.
No exceptions.
ARGH! How in the world will she ever learn responsibility or, at the very least, live with the consequences of her choices?
Thanks for listening....
Dash