Fallout from Lloyd's death included not getting psychological support from my family members. I asked my brother Mark to spend time with Ferb. He did once. Mark is a very busy person with two boys of his own. I didn't expect him to listen to me weeping over the phone for hours, but I did think he could take Ferb under his wing. Ferb has now graduated and as far as I know there has been no acknowledgement from Uncle Mark. I am no longer speaking to Mark myself as he was rude and angry to me after I confronted my dad about his dangerous driving. Mark was the one who had all of us to his house for Christmas. It was last minute and we had to reschedule previously made plans to attend. It was nice of Mark to want everyone to come. I asked if Candy could play her viola for my mother who has never had an opportunity to hear her play. He said no. Mark's mother-in-law asked Candy if she were going to play some Christmas carols. Candy told her that Uncle Mark said no. All of these interactions and the multiple ugly things Mark has said to me over the past 6 years has made me recognize that he does not want me to be a part of his life. I am okay with that, but I feel said for his two sons. I still send them birthday and Christmas presents. Mark ignores my kids. I wanted a relationship with my whole brother's family. They are great people. I understand now that they don't feel the same way. The other person who has lately made it clear that I am not a part of her life is my Significant Other's daughter. When we see each other we get along well. The problem is that I no longer see her. I understand this better as she has her inlaws living in her house and her mother lives down the street from her. She has a brother and a sister who work in the family business with her. There is a lot of drama involved. I think she just doesn't have the energy leftover to be on friendly terms with me. She is always on Facebook and I had to stop following her when she would list the other grandmothers for her children and leave me out. This happened three times, so I decided it was better not to see her posts if they were going to keep hurting my feelings. The clencher was that my birthday was this week. It took her 5 days to wish me a happy birthday. Her husband sent me a text on the correct day. She has too many "mothers" in her life and I am not that important. It hurts because I do kind things for her like allow her to use my farmhouse for a getaway so that she could be alone. We also take her boys up there to give her a kid break. I'm learning that sometimes the relationship you want is not what the other person wants. I think more and more that family has very little to do with blood relations. Family are the people who care about you and you know if you need something, they will happily respond.