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Parent Emeritus
Extreme Disappointment and Anger
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760047" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Although this is certainly not always the case..... but so often father's can detach better than us. For me, although both of us run a lucrative business, my main identity was as Mom. My heart was in that mode first. If any of my kids failed, I had failed.</p><p></p><p>I don't think Husband took parenting as personally. He was more in the moment so he enjoyed the kids more, although Kay got him upset on a daily basis....being a typical man he wanted to fix her, like he fixes work problems or mechanical problems and he couldn't. Then he would withdraw and follow my.ideas in order to at least make ME feel better. Until he couldn't do it anymore that way. Then he took himself out of it, causing trouble in the marriage.</p><p></p><p>Kay played me far more than she played her father.because I reacted more than him. Also, Husband sought solace hanging out with the other kids, especially sporting activities with our son...and solitary reading, fishing or visiting friends. When Kay was in decline, I didn't really want to do anything at all so I didn't join him. He encouraged me to but I was too sad and gave into the sadness, not a good thing. Glad I got out of that. Husband was much smarter about handling grief and sadness than I was.</p><p></p><p>Sorry for the rant. I just saw something....and it triggered this.</p><p></p><p>Love and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760047, member: 23706"] Although this is certainly not always the case..... but so often father's can detach better than us. For me, although both of us run a lucrative business, my main identity was as Mom. My heart was in that mode first. If any of my kids failed, I had failed. I don't think Husband took parenting as personally. He was more in the moment so he enjoyed the kids more, although Kay got him upset on a daily basis....being a typical man he wanted to fix her, like he fixes work problems or mechanical problems and he couldn't. Then he would withdraw and follow my.ideas in order to at least make ME feel better. Until he couldn't do it anymore that way. Then he took himself out of it, causing trouble in the marriage. Kay played me far more than she played her father.because I reacted more than him. Also, Husband sought solace hanging out with the other kids, especially sporting activities with our son...and solitary reading, fishing or visiting friends. When Kay was in decline, I didn't really want to do anything at all so I didn't join him. He encouraged me to but I was too sad and gave into the sadness, not a good thing. Glad I got out of that. Husband was much smarter about handling grief and sadness than I was. Sorry for the rant. I just saw something....and it triggered this. Love and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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