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<blockquote data-quote="Beta" data-source="post: 757597" data-attributes="member: 22597"><p>Thank you NewStart. I do feel uneasy about him and even more so since last night he called to ask if we would loan him some money because he had found a car he wanted to buy, but it would take all of his savings, and wouldn't get another unemployment check for several days. This was exactly 24 hours after he left! </p><p></p><p>It was very upsetting that he was already resorting to past behavior; behavior which really brought back bad memories of the past two years and the abuse we received from him at times because we would not/could not loan him money for a car. It was like, "Oh no, here we go again...already." The second reason it was really upsetting and aggravating was because he is currently receiving $700 a week in unemployment. My husband and I do not earn that much per week, and to have him ask us for money when he is getting this, and right when we are in the midst of trying to buy a house and move, something that requires a huge outlay of money, and we're wondering how we're going to make it financially, was really upsetting to me and my husband. I told my husband that I wish we had sat him down before he left and told him that he was not to ever ask us for money again and put us in the position of having to say no to him. When we hung up from him, he didn't act mad just bummed, but it made me very nervous that the namecalling and verbal abuse will start up again sometime. That, I cannot ever handle again, and I wish we had sat him down and warned him about that. </p><p></p><p>We just didn't think that, with his savings that he has accumulated the last three months, that he would be asking for money. I'm also nervous because he has not made wise decisions about cars previously. He tends to buy "luxury" cars that look good but aren't necessarily good for gas mileage and accumulated mileage, etc. He cares more about whether it looks good and has the fancy "bells and whistles." </p><p></p><p>Right now, I don't want to talk to him; in fact, I want to avoid him in order to avoid any more requests. I'm going to ask my husband to not answer the phone if he calls but just allow it to go to voicemail and see what it is he wants. If it's money, I think the best response is no response-- just silence. That should get the message across.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Beta, post: 757597, member: 22597"] Thank you NewStart. I do feel uneasy about him and even more so since last night he called to ask if we would loan him some money because he had found a car he wanted to buy, but it would take all of his savings, and wouldn't get another unemployment check for several days. This was exactly 24 hours after he left! It was very upsetting that he was already resorting to past behavior; behavior which really brought back bad memories of the past two years and the abuse we received from him at times because we would not/could not loan him money for a car. It was like, "Oh no, here we go again...already." The second reason it was really upsetting and aggravating was because he is currently receiving $700 a week in unemployment. My husband and I do not earn that much per week, and to have him ask us for money when he is getting this, and right when we are in the midst of trying to buy a house and move, something that requires a huge outlay of money, and we're wondering how we're going to make it financially, was really upsetting to me and my husband. I told my husband that I wish we had sat him down before he left and told him that he was not to ever ask us for money again and put us in the position of having to say no to him. When we hung up from him, he didn't act mad just bummed, but it made me very nervous that the namecalling and verbal abuse will start up again sometime. That, I cannot ever handle again, and I wish we had sat him down and warned him about that. We just didn't think that, with his savings that he has accumulated the last three months, that he would be asking for money. I'm also nervous because he has not made wise decisions about cars previously. He tends to buy "luxury" cars that look good but aren't necessarily good for gas mileage and accumulated mileage, etc. He cares more about whether it looks good and has the fancy "bells and whistles." Right now, I don't want to talk to him; in fact, I want to avoid him in order to avoid any more requests. I'm going to ask my husband to not answer the phone if he calls but just allow it to go to voicemail and see what it is he wants. If it's money, I think the best response is no response-- just silence. That should get the message across. [/QUOTE]
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