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Feeling a little sad
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757611" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Beta</p><p></p><p>There is one thing and only one thing I have learned and come to accept about this parenting thing which is: I can limit my suffering, with respect to my son; my own choices determine the extent to which I feel abuse, stress, pain, loss, and agony. If you can't go through this again, you need to stop it, by doing whatever needs to be done. That includes us taking responsibility for our own psyches and our own circumstances. That I have let my son run riot through my psyche, my life, my property, and my finances was a choice, I did not have to make.</p><p></p><p>I am sad and worried that he is not taking his antivirals and not seeking medical treatment. I have been on the verge of texting him, to beg or threaten or manipulate in some way as to motivate, cajole or try to force him to do the right thing. I realize that I am trying to deal with something that is in my head, my worry and fear, by trying to get control over him. This is always a disaster. My head is separate from his body. That is the essential thing for me to accept.</p><p></p><p>These are men who are living out their own lives. They are separate from us, and responsible for their behavior, whether it injures us or them. And the reverse is true too. I am responsible for myself. Not my son. I mean this in both senses. I am not responsible for my son. And he is not responsible to me, and for me, for how I feel, or for the effect upon me of his actions and choices.. Not if he does not choose to be.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757611, member: 18958"] Dear Beta There is one thing and only one thing I have learned and come to accept about this parenting thing which is: I can limit my suffering, with respect to my son; my own choices determine the extent to which I feel abuse, stress, pain, loss, and agony. If you can't go through this again, you need to stop it, by doing whatever needs to be done. That includes us taking responsibility for our own psyches and our own circumstances. That I have let my son run riot through my psyche, my life, my property, and my finances was a choice, I did not have to make. I am sad and worried that he is not taking his antivirals and not seeking medical treatment. I have been on the verge of texting him, to beg or threaten or manipulate in some way as to motivate, cajole or try to force him to do the right thing. I realize that I am trying to deal with something that is in my head, my worry and fear, by trying to get control over him. This is always a disaster. My head is separate from his body. That is the essential thing for me to accept. These are men who are living out their own lives. They are separate from us, and responsible for their behavior, whether it injures us or them. And the reverse is true too. I am responsible for myself. Not my son. I mean this in both senses. I am not responsible for my son. And he is not responsible to me, and for me, for how I feel, or for the effect upon me of his actions and choices.. Not if he does not choose to be. [/QUOTE]
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