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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 661033" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>Thank you for the wonderful messages and support! I have tried in vain for my son to get help. Without an official diagnosis, I cannot apply for a conservatorship. He thus has no case manager and he has never been on medications. You are correct. Schizophrenics lack insight and have anosognosia. Yes, he believes all of his delusions and his hallucinations.</p><p></p><p>I know that I did the right thing to keep my younger son safe. That was no way for him to live. I have lived with being threatened since I was 11 with my sister. The thing that is helping to keep me together is that my youngest son is now safe. I was hoping for a 5150, or involuntary hospitalization...at least 72 hours. I was hoping that some medications would enable him to have an bit of insight into his condition. The police that first night asked me outside how long before he "snaps out of it" and when does he "stop talking to voices?' I said the he is not going to snap out of it and his talking to voices is ongoing. The youngest of the three asked if I could have him come to the door. I told him that he is afraid of people because he is paranoid schizophrenic. After three private step asides, they said that they legally could not go into my house because he did not threaten my life to my face. They did not think that command hallucinations count as a viable threat. I told them that they are much more dangerous and that I was a special education teacher. I told them that my sister complied with her voices and had set a dress on fire and jumped from a balcony. I said that he had threatened me to my face several times. I begged them to go in because he had told me several times that if I called the police that he would kill me. He had looked out from behind a curtain 3 times. They told me that they could not give me an emergency restraining order and that I would have to get one myself. Hence, the 6 days in an hotel.</p><p></p><p>I found out that there was a possible disciplinary action, but all 3 officers lied to the commander and said that they had offered to go inside my house. It was truly a missed opportunity. Also, I had asked for Crisis Intervention Trained officers, but he said that I was going to get whoever was closest.. I thought that they would call the crisis mobile unit. I was so afraid that I forgot to call them on my own. </p><p></p><p>When they did finally go to my house 6 days later, my son was able to lie his way through it. I needed him out, but my heart is breaking because he is out there someplace with his voices and paranoia of people. I wish that i could have given him a note. I do not know where he is. I feel so guilty. I know that he was not getting better here with me, but at least I knew where he was. I have been told that being out there might make his symptoms worse. Sometimes, I have heard, it takes several arrests until he might get treatment. If he acts strange...then he might get help. In the past, he only talked to himself in his room. I just feel like I am going crazy. I am scared of my own son and also miss and worry about his well-being. It is like a nightmare that never ends.</p><p></p><p>I really appreciate all of your help. Thank you for starting my own thread and all of your kind words of support. I feel better because I do not feel alone. You are right that I need to feel safe. My son put in an alarm system for us. I am trying to relax and keep busy, but I cannot stop worrying and feeling guilty. Schizophrenics are very child-like. My sister who became schizophrenic when i was 11 and she was 13, was doing better at 21. My parents got her an apartment. She got on the wrong bus that took her downtown. A man told her that you cannot be on a bus after dark. He was a pimp and took her to a hotel and forced her to turn tricks for 2 weeks until she was found. She talked about him all the time until she died last year at 63. </p><p></p><p>It just feels surreal to be afraid of my own son. I try to eat and get some sleep, but it is very difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 661033, member: 19245"] Thank you for the wonderful messages and support! I have tried in vain for my son to get help. Without an official diagnosis, I cannot apply for a conservatorship. He thus has no case manager and he has never been on medications. You are correct. Schizophrenics lack insight and have anosognosia. Yes, he believes all of his delusions and his hallucinations. I know that I did the right thing to keep my younger son safe. That was no way for him to live. I have lived with being threatened since I was 11 with my sister. The thing that is helping to keep me together is that my youngest son is now safe. I was hoping for a 5150, or involuntary hospitalization...at least 72 hours. I was hoping that some medications would enable him to have an bit of insight into his condition. The police that first night asked me outside how long before he "snaps out of it" and when does he "stop talking to voices?' I said the he is not going to snap out of it and his talking to voices is ongoing. The youngest of the three asked if I could have him come to the door. I told him that he is afraid of people because he is paranoid schizophrenic. After three private step asides, they said that they legally could not go into my house because he did not threaten my life to my face. They did not think that command hallucinations count as a viable threat. I told them that they are much more dangerous and that I was a special education teacher. I told them that my sister complied with her voices and had set a dress on fire and jumped from a balcony. I said that he had threatened me to my face several times. I begged them to go in because he had told me several times that if I called the police that he would kill me. He had looked out from behind a curtain 3 times. They told me that they could not give me an emergency restraining order and that I would have to get one myself. Hence, the 6 days in an hotel. I found out that there was a possible disciplinary action, but all 3 officers lied to the commander and said that they had offered to go inside my house. It was truly a missed opportunity. Also, I had asked for Crisis Intervention Trained officers, but he said that I was going to get whoever was closest.. I thought that they would call the crisis mobile unit. I was so afraid that I forgot to call them on my own. When they did finally go to my house 6 days later, my son was able to lie his way through it. I needed him out, but my heart is breaking because he is out there someplace with his voices and paranoia of people. I wish that i could have given him a note. I do not know where he is. I feel so guilty. I know that he was not getting better here with me, but at least I knew where he was. I have been told that being out there might make his symptoms worse. Sometimes, I have heard, it takes several arrests until he might get treatment. If he acts strange...then he might get help. In the past, he only talked to himself in his room. I just feel like I am going crazy. I am scared of my own son and also miss and worry about his well-being. It is like a nightmare that never ends. I really appreciate all of your help. Thank you for starting my own thread and all of your kind words of support. I feel better because I do not feel alone. You are right that I need to feel safe. My son put in an alarm system for us. I am trying to relax and keep busy, but I cannot stop worrying and feeling guilty. Schizophrenics are very child-like. My sister who became schizophrenic when i was 11 and she was 13, was doing better at 21. My parents got her an apartment. She got on the wrong bus that took her downtown. A man told her that you cannot be on a bus after dark. He was a pimp and took her to a hotel and forced her to turn tricks for 2 weeks until she was found. She talked about him all the time until she died last year at 63. It just feels surreal to be afraid of my own son. I try to eat and get some sleep, but it is very difficult. [/QUOTE]
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