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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 661046" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome feeling sad. I'm sorry you find yourself here. And, I'm glad you found us.</p><p></p><p>I understand the heartbreak of mental illness too, I have been surrounded by it my whole life. My brother has paranoid schizophrenia, so I can empathize with you. He lived on the streets of Los Angeles for many, many years before my other brother and I got him a hotel room where he still lives today. Eventually he was able to get SSI which is what he lives on today. We supplement his income on occasion when he runs out, it isn't a lot of money, but at least he is off the streets. He survived on the streets. There is a community of folks out there. In some ways, they look out for each other. </p><p></p><p>My daughter has mental issues, never diagnosed, couch surfs, lives a strange nomadic life of her own choosing. She is 42 years old. </p><p></p><p>My sister is bipolar. She does better and is a successful artist. Both my parents exhibited signs of mental illness, undiagnosed.</p><p></p><p>I've had a lot of therapy to learn to be okay with myself. I had to learn how to detach from all of them. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. For most of us, learning to let go of what we cannot control is the most difficult thing we will ever do.........AND it becomes necessary if we are to have any kind of a life at all. With a lot of help, guidance and professional assistance, I've managed to muddle through this wild journey......so can you.</p><p></p><p>I would suggest you contact NAMI. They have courses for parents which are excellent. They can offer resources and information and support for YOU. YOU need support. You've done all there is to do for your son for a very, very long time. It is now time to take care of YOU. You can access NAMI on line, they have chapters in many cities. If I were you, I would get myself a good therapist to learn how to detach in ways that are appropriate for you. In the final analysis, if your son is not willing to get the help he needs, there is nothing you can do accept worry yourself to death and ruin your own life. Make a different choice, choose life and choose to learn detachment........ultimately you will learn acceptance which is what brings peace of mind, regardless of what another is doing or not doing.</p><p></p><p>This is a very sad tale. Made sadder by the fact that there is more than one victim here. You and your younger son are held hostage by the choices of someone who doesn't know how to, or chooses not to make healthy choices. Either way, there isn't anything you can do about it. </p><p></p><p>I found solace in books by Pema Chodron, who is a Buddhist nun who addresses how to live with uncertainty. All of her books are worth reading. Books by Eckhart Tolle and Brene Brown were also very helpful. For me, in order to make these difficult changes, I had to keep myself in supportive environments a lot.......it takes a big commitment and the willingness to change and find different ways of responding. It is not easy. It is perhaps the hardest thing you will ever do. But......<em><u>it is doable. </u></em></p><p></p><p>I'm glad you're here with us. Keep posting, it helps. Find support for YOU. You deserve to have a life of peace and joy. You deserve to find happiness. Make that your priority now. Focus on you. As you do that, you will find answers, you will make choices out of a centered and balanced place, not out of fear. </p><p></p><p>Sending you warm hugs. Hang in there.....we're here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 661046, member: 13542"] Welcome feeling sad. I'm sorry you find yourself here. And, I'm glad you found us. I understand the heartbreak of mental illness too, I have been surrounded by it my whole life. My brother has paranoid schizophrenia, so I can empathize with you. He lived on the streets of Los Angeles for many, many years before my other brother and I got him a hotel room where he still lives today. Eventually he was able to get SSI which is what he lives on today. We supplement his income on occasion when he runs out, it isn't a lot of money, but at least he is off the streets. He survived on the streets. There is a community of folks out there. In some ways, they look out for each other. My daughter has mental issues, never diagnosed, couch surfs, lives a strange nomadic life of her own choosing. She is 42 years old. My sister is bipolar. She does better and is a successful artist. Both my parents exhibited signs of mental illness, undiagnosed. I've had a lot of therapy to learn to be okay with myself. I had to learn how to detach from all of them. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. For most of us, learning to let go of what we cannot control is the most difficult thing we will ever do.........AND it becomes necessary if we are to have any kind of a life at all. With a lot of help, guidance and professional assistance, I've managed to muddle through this wild journey......so can you. I would suggest you contact NAMI. They have courses for parents which are excellent. They can offer resources and information and support for YOU. YOU need support. You've done all there is to do for your son for a very, very long time. It is now time to take care of YOU. You can access NAMI on line, they have chapters in many cities. If I were you, I would get myself a good therapist to learn how to detach in ways that are appropriate for you. In the final analysis, if your son is not willing to get the help he needs, there is nothing you can do accept worry yourself to death and ruin your own life. Make a different choice, choose life and choose to learn detachment........ultimately you will learn acceptance which is what brings peace of mind, regardless of what another is doing or not doing. This is a very sad tale. Made sadder by the fact that there is more than one victim here. You and your younger son are held hostage by the choices of someone who doesn't know how to, or chooses not to make healthy choices. Either way, there isn't anything you can do about it. I found solace in books by Pema Chodron, who is a Buddhist nun who addresses how to live with uncertainty. All of her books are worth reading. Books by Eckhart Tolle and Brene Brown were also very helpful. For me, in order to make these difficult changes, I had to keep myself in supportive environments a lot.......it takes a big commitment and the willingness to change and find different ways of responding. It is not easy. It is perhaps the hardest thing you will ever do. But......[I][U]it is doable. [/U][/I] I'm glad you're here with us. Keep posting, it helps. Find support for YOU. You deserve to have a life of peace and joy. You deserve to find happiness. Make that your priority now. Focus on you. As you do that, you will find answers, you will make choices out of a centered and balanced place, not out of fear. Sending you warm hugs. Hang in there.....we're here for you. [/QUOTE]
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