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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Feeling Sad" data-source="post: 753686" data-attributes="member: 19245"><p>I am so grateful that I have this site. I am going to London in 3 days, yet my adult middle son will not leave me alone. He is increasingly acting like my schizophrenic son in the early stages.. My heart is literally breaking. Most people before a trip are happily planning for their upcoming adventure. I am anxious and worry about leaving. This is probably going to be my last trip. I know this. I cannot leave my middle son. I have applied to teacher seminars that I will need to politely refuse.</p><p></p><p>My 2nd son lives with me. He moved back home 2 1/2 years ago. He was only 2 months away from graduating. He was working for the FDA with a grant. He is depressed and suicidal. He is acting like my eldest son, who is schizophrenic, in his early stages. I cannot cut myself off from him. He lives here. He wants to be homeless and kill himself. If I try 'tough love', he will leave. He wants to be homeless. He wants me to watch his Husky. To review, my eldest son is schizophrenic and homeless because he threatened to kill me several times and I had to take out a restraining order on him to protect my youngest son.</p><p></p><p>I am in my room at 7:30. I am 'grounded' of sorts. He is arguing with me outside of my locked door. I can't watch TV without his yelling at me. He won't leave me alone. I am single. I have no respite.</p><p></p><p>I purposely stay away from my own house. I HATE this!!! My genes are lousy. I feel guilty about them. I know that I have no control over my genes. But, there it is. I have stress at work and stress at home. I get about 4 hours sleep a night. I am exhausted. I will fall apart with 2 homeless mentally ill sons. I haven't seen my eldest son for 4 1/2 years. I yearn for him. I ache for him. He did not chose to be schizophrenic. He was the sweetest person before becoming ill. As a mother, a piece of me is missing. I cannot take care of him. He is out there, alone, and child-like in many ways. I can't lose 2 of my sons.</p><p></p><p>My youngest son is now worried that he will become mentally ill. He should not have to worry about this. He should be young and carefree in his 20's. I feel like I have failed as a mother.</p><p></p><p>People who are profoundly mentally ill do not choose it. They often do not go to therapy due to anosognosia, or lack of insight. I feel like I am falling apart. Yes, some of you may say to kick my son out. He has not worked, gone to school, or seen friends for 2 years. Yet, he is mentally ill. He did not choose to be mentally ill. I pray that he does not have schizophrenia...</p><p></p><p>He is the 4th person to be mentally ill in my family. My faith is still there, but I ask, "Why?".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Feeling Sad, post: 753686, member: 19245"] I am so grateful that I have this site. I am going to London in 3 days, yet my adult middle son will not leave me alone. He is increasingly acting like my schizophrenic son in the early stages.. My heart is literally breaking. Most people before a trip are happily planning for their upcoming adventure. I am anxious and worry about leaving. This is probably going to be my last trip. I know this. I cannot leave my middle son. I have applied to teacher seminars that I will need to politely refuse. My 2nd son lives with me. He moved back home 2 1/2 years ago. He was only 2 months away from graduating. He was working for the FDA with a grant. He is depressed and suicidal. He is acting like my eldest son, who is schizophrenic, in his early stages. I cannot cut myself off from him. He lives here. He wants to be homeless and kill himself. If I try 'tough love', he will leave. He wants to be homeless. He wants me to watch his Husky. To review, my eldest son is schizophrenic and homeless because he threatened to kill me several times and I had to take out a restraining order on him to protect my youngest son. I am in my room at 7:30. I am 'grounded' of sorts. He is arguing with me outside of my locked door. I can't watch TV without his yelling at me. He won't leave me alone. I am single. I have no respite. I purposely stay away from my own house. I HATE this!!! My genes are lousy. I feel guilty about them. I know that I have no control over my genes. But, there it is. I have stress at work and stress at home. I get about 4 hours sleep a night. I am exhausted. I will fall apart with 2 homeless mentally ill sons. I haven't seen my eldest son for 4 1/2 years. I yearn for him. I ache for him. He did not chose to be schizophrenic. He was the sweetest person before becoming ill. As a mother, a piece of me is missing. I cannot take care of him. He is out there, alone, and child-like in many ways. I can't lose 2 of my sons. My youngest son is now worried that he will become mentally ill. He should not have to worry about this. He should be young and carefree in his 20's. I feel like I have failed as a mother. People who are profoundly mentally ill do not choose it. They often do not go to therapy due to anosognosia, or lack of insight. I feel like I am falling apart. Yes, some of you may say to kick my son out. He has not worked, gone to school, or seen friends for 2 years. Yet, he is mentally ill. He did not choose to be mentally ill. I pray that he does not have schizophrenia... He is the 4th person to be mentally ill in my family. My faith is still there, but I ask, "Why?". [/QUOTE]
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