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Feeling Sad---Son is Homeless
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 753699" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Hi Feeling. My heart breaks for you. I will not say, kick him out. But at the same time you can't live like this. You can't do work that is so demanding, on four hours of sleep and constant stress. And there is your health too. What is the stress doing to you?</p><p></p><p>In your area there will be a Jewish Family Services. They will work with anybody. There are therapists and social workers and case managers. They work with individuals and families, to help them develop and implement plans to handle situations such as yours. There may be help available to you. </p><p>I don't know what to tell you to do, but I worked with people who were paranoid schizophrenic. Many were able to accept boundaries, and cooperate to the extent that they did not have to be hospitalized. But that was in prison where there was always security who would enforce limits.</p><p></p><p>I think your son is bullying you. The worst thing, in my view, is letting this happen and retreating and hiding in your own home. He will only step up his confrontation and intimidation. I think you need either back up or somebody to come in and to help you set and enforce some boundaries. If this keeps going the way it is, what will stop it from becoming like what happened with eldest son? </p><p></p><p>I also think that he is bullying you through threats of suicide and homelessness. This is how he is gaining his power. </p><p></p><p>I don't have answers. I know the situation with eldest is horribly painful, but as a far as we know he is okay. Meanwhile middle son is not. And neither are you. </p><p></p><p>I would urge you to get involved with people and programs that can help you. So that you can share this responsibility with others. I mention Jewish Family Services because I have known it almost all of my life. To me, there is no better social service organization. But in your area there would have to be services oriented more specifically to your needs.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you posted. New Leaf is only posting intermittently. She is now caring for her 3 grandchildren and it's a real handful because they have been traumatized. I feel certain she'll respond when she can.</p><p></p><p>Feeling. Please have a good time on your trip. And try to not dwell on this, so that you can enjoy yourself. You don't mention what this trip is for or about. </p><p></p><p>I want to add this: you don't know if you're doing the right thing harboring your son. If he's getting worse. You don't know if he would be better off or not, away from you. Having him with you seems not to have really helped him to stabilize. I know you can't bear the sadness of this. Who could? But it's equally or more horrible how you are living. Would you consider returning to therapy?</p><p></p><p>Love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 753699, member: 18958"] Hi Feeling. My heart breaks for you. I will not say, kick him out. But at the same time you can't live like this. You can't do work that is so demanding, on four hours of sleep and constant stress. And there is your health too. What is the stress doing to you? In your area there will be a Jewish Family Services. They will work with anybody. There are therapists and social workers and case managers. They work with individuals and families, to help them develop and implement plans to handle situations such as yours. There may be help available to you. I don't know what to tell you to do, but I worked with people who were paranoid schizophrenic. Many were able to accept boundaries, and cooperate to the extent that they did not have to be hospitalized. But that was in prison where there was always security who would enforce limits. I think your son is bullying you. The worst thing, in my view, is letting this happen and retreating and hiding in your own home. He will only step up his confrontation and intimidation. I think you need either back up or somebody to come in and to help you set and enforce some boundaries. If this keeps going the way it is, what will stop it from becoming like what happened with eldest son? I also think that he is bullying you through threats of suicide and homelessness. This is how he is gaining his power. I don't have answers. I know the situation with eldest is horribly painful, but as a far as we know he is okay. Meanwhile middle son is not. And neither are you. I would urge you to get involved with people and programs that can help you. So that you can share this responsibility with others. I mention Jewish Family Services because I have known it almost all of my life. To me, there is no better social service organization. But in your area there would have to be services oriented more specifically to your needs. I'm glad you posted. New Leaf is only posting intermittently. She is now caring for her 3 grandchildren and it's a real handful because they have been traumatized. I feel certain she'll respond when she can. Feeling. Please have a good time on your trip. And try to not dwell on this, so that you can enjoy yourself. You don't mention what this trip is for or about. I want to add this: you don't know if you're doing the right thing harboring your son. If he's getting worse. You don't know if he would be better off or not, away from you. Having him with you seems not to have really helped him to stabilize. I know you can't bear the sadness of this. Who could? But it's equally or more horrible how you are living. Would you consider returning to therapy? Love. [/QUOTE]
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