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Parent Emeritus
Feeling sorry and not feeling sorry at the same time
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 761626" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Laura</p><p></p><p>Many if not most of us here have adult children who are functioning in limited or troublesome ways. Most if not all of us have been unable to help our children in meaningful ways. We've come to the place, many of us, that we need to help ourselves, and to find a way to love our children in a way that we're not hurt.</p><p></p><p>It's sad that your son seems to not be able to accept limits or boundaries. Either from other people or in himself, as in addictive behavior. But really, this is not about that. It's about how he treats you. He lashes out at you. That is not right. </p><p></p><p>I think the issues here are really accepting what he's like. That is, an addict who is adding more drugs to the mix, and somebody who does not control his aggressive behavior. I think the bigger issue is the latter. You have no control over what he does in his own life. You do have control to how you respond to somebody who repeatedly hurts you. That's what I think.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 761626, member: 18958"] Dear Laura Many if not most of us here have adult children who are functioning in limited or troublesome ways. Most if not all of us have been unable to help our children in meaningful ways. We've come to the place, many of us, that we need to help ourselves, and to find a way to love our children in a way that we're not hurt. It's sad that your son seems to not be able to accept limits or boundaries. Either from other people or in himself, as in addictive behavior. But really, this is not about that. It's about how he treats you. He lashes out at you. That is not right. I think the issues here are really accepting what he's like. That is, an addict who is adding more drugs to the mix, and somebody who does not control his aggressive behavior. I think the bigger issue is the latter. You have no control over what he does in his own life. You do have control to how you respond to somebody who repeatedly hurts you. That's what I think. [/QUOTE]
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Feeling sorry and not feeling sorry at the same time
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