Nessie
Member
As previously posted my 21 year old son is currently living with my parents whilst he awaits court and sentencing for controlled substances. He has mental health issues, has attempted and continues to threaten suicide. This last month has been a nightmare with his ups and downs and I am not even sure how I have survived the last five years.
But here's the thing, I have. Today I feel strong, i do not know what is going to happen to him, I know from Facebook and other signs that something is going on - he is ramping it up! But today I can live happily with the knowledge that there is nothing I can do, I have tried everything. Tonight me and my husband have been out dolphin spotting and I felt free. It never ceases to amaze me how I have these days when I do not feel guilty for enjoying myself or that I should be at least spending all of my time worrying about him. I had him young, worked really hard , taught all my kids manners and morals, fed them, loved them and supported them. He chose his path and today I am not following.
As much as I love him I hope I feel like this tomorrow and I hope all parents experiencing this chaos can feel like I do today. Love to all x
But here's the thing, I have. Today I feel strong, i do not know what is going to happen to him, I know from Facebook and other signs that something is going on - he is ramping it up! But today I can live happily with the knowledge that there is nothing I can do, I have tried everything. Tonight me and my husband have been out dolphin spotting and I felt free. It never ceases to amaze me how I have these days when I do not feel guilty for enjoying myself or that I should be at least spending all of my time worrying about him. I had him young, worked really hard , taught all my kids manners and morals, fed them, loved them and supported them. He chose his path and today I am not following.
As much as I love him I hope I feel like this tomorrow and I hope all parents experiencing this chaos can feel like I do today. Love to all x