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<blockquote data-quote="overcome mom" data-source="post: 759854" data-attributes="member: 23328"><p>My son’s birth mother contacted him when he was 16 through Facebook. He had been running away at that point and ran to her house which was about 2 hours from where we live. I was in contact with her and she lied to me that he was there. She was upset with my husband and I that we had not approved her visit with him when he was 11. She told him stories about us that were untrue. She also told him about another child that she placed for adoption which she had given us an option to adopt, and we did not. This of course was very upsetting to my son and he had no explanation at all from us why we chose not to do this. He too felt like he had found his place with her. He has never said that we were bad parents never said that he ran away because of things being bad at home.</p><p></p><p>After that time, he kept in contact with her on a sporadic basis. He was placed in numerous residential facilities and then had criminal activity and went to prison. She seemed to realize what major problems he had and then cutoff contact with him. She was looking for the perfect child which he was not. Fast forward to when he was 24, he went to stay with her for a short period of time (two weeks) as he had no place to live. She ended up kicking him out with no place to go to. I really don't know why she did this but since that time he has not had contact with her. He also h realized as he's gotten older that she has major issues. Two of his half siblings that she did not adopt out have both left her house and have very little contact with her.</p><p></p><p>Like your daughter’s birth mother, she is also very much like him. She has not been able to keep a job longer than six months, was kicked out of the military and had five children by 5 different men. A lot of her behaviors are very much like his. There are also addiction issues in the family.</p><p></p><p>I really don't know what advice to give you but what we did was just let it play out. He finally figured out that she had a lot of problems and was not going to support him. When he was younger it was very hard and scary to have her in his life. As he got older, I thought if he could work out any kind of issues he has about his adoption that would be a good thing. Also felt that the more people he had supporting him the better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="overcome mom, post: 759854, member: 23328"] My son’s birth mother contacted him when he was 16 through Facebook. He had been running away at that point and ran to her house which was about 2 hours from where we live. I was in contact with her and she lied to me that he was there. She was upset with my husband and I that we had not approved her visit with him when he was 11. She told him stories about us that were untrue. She also told him about another child that she placed for adoption which she had given us an option to adopt, and we did not. This of course was very upsetting to my son and he had no explanation at all from us why we chose not to do this. He too felt like he had found his place with her. He has never said that we were bad parents never said that he ran away because of things being bad at home. After that time, he kept in contact with her on a sporadic basis. He was placed in numerous residential facilities and then had criminal activity and went to prison. She seemed to realize what major problems he had and then cutoff contact with him. She was looking for the perfect child which he was not. Fast forward to when he was 24, he went to stay with her for a short period of time (two weeks) as he had no place to live. She ended up kicking him out with no place to go to. I really don't know why she did this but since that time he has not had contact with her. He also h realized as he's gotten older that she has major issues. Two of his half siblings that she did not adopt out have both left her house and have very little contact with her. Like your daughter’s birth mother, she is also very much like him. She has not been able to keep a job longer than six months, was kicked out of the military and had five children by 5 different men. A lot of her behaviors are very much like his. There are also addiction issues in the family. I really don't know what advice to give you but what we did was just let it play out. He finally figured out that she had a lot of problems and was not going to support him. When he was younger it was very hard and scary to have her in his life. As he got older, I thought if he could work out any kind of issues he has about his adoption that would be a good thing. Also felt that the more people he had supporting him the better. [/QUOTE]
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