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Finding birthx family
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 759865" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I have often wondered if mental illness plus adoption creates a special/unique problem.(And there seems to be a lot of mental illness involved with adoption in recent years). Not knowing your heritage. Not knowing her birth family for my daughter, (and for many others...similarly ...in the same boat) was haunting. No matter what we did or said was helpful. Combine that with mental illness...and it’s tricky. Almost all of our kids have this strange entitlement thing going on. Ungratefulness too. It’s NOT that we want our adopted children to be grateful that they were adopted. Not at all. It’s just an every day overall attitude. We see it in most all the children here. Adopted or not. Nothing is enough. Nothing is appreciated. Nothing is good enough. It’s draining. My friend calls it the “bottom less pit.” It’s especially mind blowing when often times these children and adult children need or expect the most help</p><p>Just now thinking that if a child is adopted by a healthy extended family member, maybe that helps a tiny bit if they are aware of their relatives etc. Have biological grandparents and so forth. I don’t know.</p><p></p><p>But I have heard a disproportionate amount of negative stories re adoption. Sad.</p><p></p><p>Im happy if my daughter is happy.But of course, I hope this discovery doesn’t hurt her in some way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 759865, member: 4152"] I have often wondered if mental illness plus adoption creates a special/unique problem.(And there seems to be a lot of mental illness involved with adoption in recent years). Not knowing your heritage. Not knowing her birth family for my daughter, (and for many others...similarly ...in the same boat) was haunting. No matter what we did or said was helpful. Combine that with mental illness...and it’s tricky. Almost all of our kids have this strange entitlement thing going on. Ungratefulness too. It’s NOT that we want our adopted children to be grateful that they were adopted. Not at all. It’s just an every day overall attitude. We see it in most all the children here. Adopted or not. Nothing is enough. Nothing is appreciated. Nothing is good enough. It’s draining. My friend calls it the “bottom less pit.” It’s especially mind blowing when often times these children and adult children need or expect the most help Just now thinking that if a child is adopted by a healthy extended family member, maybe that helps a tiny bit if they are aware of their relatives etc. Have biological grandparents and so forth. I don’t know. But I have heard a disproportionate amount of negative stories re adoption. Sad. Im happy if my daughter is happy.But of course, I hope this discovery doesn’t hurt her in some way. [/QUOTE]
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