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Finding out the truth
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 762813" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Helpless, </p><p>I am so sorry for your aching heart. I agree with Copa, our adult children need to take responsibility for their actions, under the influence or not, and we need to step back. One of the many reasons I have gone no contact with my daughter is something she said to me months ago. “I am an addict, I did not ask to be an addict. I can’t be held responsible for the things I do while I am high.”</p><p>Really?</p><p>She is in there somewhere, buried deep under years of using. Not just using drugs, using everyone who loves her to get what she wants. </p><p>We all must do what we must, to be able to live with ourselves. No judgment here on anyone else’s choice on how they deal with their wayward loved ones. </p><p>That being written, I do agree with Copa. When our addicted loved ones have crossed so far over the line, we need to take a step back and focus on living our best lives. They will do what they will do, and drag us around by the heartstrings if we allow it. Finding our center within ourselves and stepping back from their choices, their consequences is not cruel or selfish, it is self love. That’s imperative to our own survival.</p><p>This is not your doing, or mine. I’m sure you raised up your son the best you could with morals and values. Me too, with my daughters. Unfortunately they have been ensnared by meth, an extremely addictive, dangerous substance that can lead folks to violence. That’s how my daughter got kicked out of rehab, and she was supposedly sober for four months. She made it to a level where they were allowing her to go out on day passes. She went, with her baby, had her nails done, then beat a girl up, Lord only knows why? She had her baby with her!! What on earth. </p><p>Sigh.</p><p>I’m working on giving my two back to God. (Again) Instead of fretting and worrying over them, I need to remember to say a quick prayer when those thoughts enter my mind. </p><p>I matter, you matter. Our peace of mind, matters.</p><p>I hope you can find a way to get back to focusing on you. Im trying to do the same. </p><p>(((hugs)))</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 762813, member: 19522"] Helpless, I am so sorry for your aching heart. I agree with Copa, our adult children need to take responsibility for their actions, under the influence or not, and we need to step back. One of the many reasons I have gone no contact with my daughter is something she said to me months ago. “I am an addict, I did not ask to be an addict. I can’t be held responsible for the things I do while I am high.” Really? She is in there somewhere, buried deep under years of using. Not just using drugs, using everyone who loves her to get what she wants. We all must do what we must, to be able to live with ourselves. No judgment here on anyone else’s choice on how they deal with their wayward loved ones. That being written, I do agree with Copa. When our addicted loved ones have crossed so far over the line, we need to take a step back and focus on living our best lives. They will do what they will do, and drag us around by the heartstrings if we allow it. Finding our center within ourselves and stepping back from their choices, their consequences is not cruel or selfish, it is self love. That’s imperative to our own survival. This is not your doing, or mine. I’m sure you raised up your son the best you could with morals and values. Me too, with my daughters. Unfortunately they have been ensnared by meth, an extremely addictive, dangerous substance that can lead folks to violence. That’s how my daughter got kicked out of rehab, and she was supposedly sober for four months. She made it to a level where they were allowing her to go out on day passes. She went, with her baby, had her nails done, then beat a girl up, Lord only knows why? She had her baby with her!! What on earth. Sigh. I’m working on giving my two back to God. (Again) Instead of fretting and worrying over them, I need to remember to say a quick prayer when those thoughts enter my mind. I matter, you matter. Our peace of mind, matters. I hope you can find a way to get back to focusing on you. Im trying to do the same. (((hugs))) Leaf [/QUOTE]
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