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first post and hurting badly
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 598972" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there and welcome. I'm sorry you had to be here though and that you are hurting.</p><p></p><p>I was wondering why Daughter was never diagnosed or treated? Obviously her father had serious issues and he could have past some mental illness genes along to her. This isn't your fault. There is nothing or was nothing you could do to change her DNA and her drug use and attitude are HER decisions unless you crammed drugs down her throat and told her to be disrespectful to you. You aren't failing. SHE is.</p><p></p><p>You may want to post on Parent Emeritus or Substance Abuse as this particular forum is for children who are still not legal adults and it's different. Personally, if she told me she wanted to move out, and she was so disagreeable, I'd tell her to have at it and get a job while she's at it because I was not supporting her at all. Be sure to mention that you want the cell phone back before she leaves and anything else you pay for. Actually, if she is that nasty to you, why pay for those things even if she doesn't move out? If she has a car, remove it. After two totals, that in my opinion should be it. She can buy her own car, walk or take the bus or ride her bike to work and save up. She is young and can change, but you need to stop enabling her behavior.</p><p></p><p> Never give in to emotional blackmail. They will use it all the time if you do.</p><p></p><p>Gentle hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 598972, member: 1550"] Hi there and welcome. I'm sorry you had to be here though and that you are hurting. I was wondering why Daughter was never diagnosed or treated? Obviously her father had serious issues and he could have past some mental illness genes along to her. This isn't your fault. There is nothing or was nothing you could do to change her DNA and her drug use and attitude are HER decisions unless you crammed drugs down her throat and told her to be disrespectful to you. You aren't failing. SHE is. You may want to post on Parent Emeritus or Substance Abuse as this particular forum is for children who are still not legal adults and it's different. Personally, if she told me she wanted to move out, and she was so disagreeable, I'd tell her to have at it and get a job while she's at it because I was not supporting her at all. Be sure to mention that you want the cell phone back before she leaves and anything else you pay for. Actually, if she is that nasty to you, why pay for those things even if she doesn't move out? If she has a car, remove it. After two totals, that in my opinion should be it. She can buy her own car, walk or take the bus or ride her bike to work and save up. She is young and can change, but you need to stop enabling her behavior. Never give in to emotional blackmail. They will use it all the time if you do. Gentle hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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