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Family of Origin
Forgiving yourself/stop feeling it was your fault
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 738373" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This was hard for me. If you get blamed enough for the dysfunction of an entire family and you are a child, it sticks. For a long time. Forever?</p><p></p><p>I think the key is to disconnect from anyone, family or friend, who blames you for everything about yourself. I had the plan to leave when my father died for many years. He lived a long life but I had been thinking this for at least a decade, on and off. My husband was the only one who knew. I stayed, in a sense, to not hurt my father.</p><p></p><p>This is not directed in any way toward my sister. It isnt at all. Its about ME and MY identity. I would change my maiden name if I could. My FOO is not who I feel connected to. </p><p></p><p> I am just exlaining that to finally be free of the angry words of those who are or were unkind to you, sometimes it is helpful to just let go. Be who you are. You are enough.</p><p></p><p>There is nobody in my life now who will criticize me just for being myself.</p><p></p><p>You have a right to be who you are and to not worry if someone doesnt like you. The only one who needs to forgive you and love you is you. But if you feel this way about yourself, others will too.</p><p></p><p>Namaste <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 738373, member: 1550"] This was hard for me. If you get blamed enough for the dysfunction of an entire family and you are a child, it sticks. For a long time. Forever? I think the key is to disconnect from anyone, family or friend, who blames you for everything about yourself. I had the plan to leave when my father died for many years. He lived a long life but I had been thinking this for at least a decade, on and off. My husband was the only one who knew. I stayed, in a sense, to not hurt my father. This is not directed in any way toward my sister. It isnt at all. Its about ME and MY identity. I would change my maiden name if I could. My FOO is not who I feel connected to. I am just exlaining that to finally be free of the angry words of those who are or were unkind to you, sometimes it is helpful to just let go. Be who you are. You are enough. There is nobody in my life now who will criticize me just for being myself. You have a right to be who you are and to not worry if someone doesnt like you. The only one who needs to forgive you and love you is you. But if you feel this way about yourself, others will too. Namaste :) [/QUOTE]
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Forgiving yourself/stop feeling it was your fault
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