I always wonder if I should post things like this here. So many of you are having such a hard time. There was a time when PE was my lifeline. There were times I don't think Jabber and I'd have gotten thru without you fine people. I hate to post something too upbeat because (1) I don't want anyone to feel bad in comparison and (2) I'm afraid I'll jinx myself. Maybe those are in the wrong order. I do still knock on wood when I tell people something positive about our son. I've spend a good part of two days looking at pet-friendly Airbnb's so we can go out for a visit in October. I've texted our son and his fiancé to find out what days they normally get off work, if they know...it appears they have odd schedules. When they get back to us, we're ready to book. We're skipping a different vacation in order to go out there instead and I'd love to work around their schedules so they don't have to ask off extra days. We haven't seen him since last September. We don't talk much - we do text....but usually I have to initiate those unless it's mother's day or father's day. He does send greetings then, I suspect because the fiancé reminds him. So much has changed since last September. They've moved out of her parent's home into their own apartment in a different town (with a roommate - rent is HIGH out there) and both have different jobs, they adopted a dog - and of course, they got engaged. It seems that being two states away finally made him straighten up...at least enough to work and keep a roof over his own head. That and finding a really good young woman. I give her lots of credit. Do you hear me knocking? I really hope this desk is real wood - Oak is best. It scares me to put that in writing! Lord, please don't let this jinx it! It's very odd, because I'm just so excited! Lately I've just missed him SO MUCH! I don't usually. For so long it was so hard to have him around that out of sight became out of mind...when he was gone we were finally able to relax. Not that I ever didn't love him...and hurt...but even in the best of times, it was just such hard work trying to stay positive...it was exhausting. It's so very, very strange to plan a trip and assume it will be pleasant! There is still, after a whole year with virtually no drama, this little nagging voice warning me not to relax. My desire to talk to (or at least text) my son get's pushed aside so often still by the fear that if I do contact him his response will be one of doom and gloom. There's still the worry that it will all fall apart. I guess, I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop. But, I guess if it does it does - we'll deal. And if not, then yay. I'm going to take pleasure in the planning and the thought of seeing the mountains again...and hopefully my scruffy son and his lovely fiancé will make the trip a happy one.