Gone 3 days

Helpless29

Active Member
My son left Tuesday, never came home after work. I found out him & his girlfriend got into a fight & I guess that was his reason to go get messed up. She did get a call from him & all he said was he was sorry & that he’s all :censored2:ed up , his exact words then hung up on her & blocked her . He hasn’t showed up to work but why would I actually think he would go . I don’t understand how he can throw away everything. He had a good job , everything at home was going good, holidays & his birthday were perfect .why??? I called & texted him all day saying to come home that he still has a chance to turn things around but no response. I haven’t reported it . I guess my heart was still hoping there was chance . I will need to report it today to his Po’s it will be a violation & then he will have to serve his 2 years in St. Charles detention center , I’m once again heartbroken & just can’t & will never understand why. And his brothers are asking where is he & I just have to lie , he can’t keep hurting us :(
 
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RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
Please do report it. You must. Take YOURSELF out of the equation by doing so.

Trust me, I KNOW how hard this is. I've been through it. I am NOT sorry for any time that I made him suffer consequences. Please know that he MUST suffer them to grow and be the man you want him to be.

I have no regrets. I think my son is good now because I was a tough :censored2:. Sorry to be crass but it's true.

They say God only gives us what we can handle, but I have questioned that repeatedly in my life.

Hugs and be strong.
 

MissLulu

Well-Known Member
Helpless, my heart is breaking for you. I know how hard it must be to have to do this, but you must report it. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I am so very sorry and know first hand the grief of a missing child. It is so hard.

I go to Nar Anon and before that I always got in the car looking frantically for my daugjter, sure of the worst.

I have since gathered tools so that I am able to be much less reactive. Always? No. But usually I can be by reading the tools and my Nar Anon book. I know darn well that my daughter, who is not clean and is homeless, is the only person who can help herself. I know that my worrying doesn't change anything. I learned how to be calmer and to take care of the one person I can....myself. My life is so much better now even though Kay is a mess. She knows she can only come to us if she wants to go to rehab and for nothing else. As it is, we spent half of our retirement on her and it did nothing. And she isn't even nice to us.

I just threw in some stuff that helped me. I really like my SESH book from NarAnon. There is a reading for every day of the year and the readings use all the tools. If interested, Amazon has it. If not you will find a method that works for you.

Please do not allow your son to suck all the oxygen out of your world, like we let our daughter do. We had no time for each other, the other kids, hobbies, fun, anything. And our deprivation did not change Kay.

I offer prayers, love and hugs. You may want to try Nar Anon or private therapy or both.
 
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