Goneboy, now 41, is a man that ex and I adopted from a foreign orphanage at age six. He had an inability to bond to a family due to his lack of nurturing in the orphanage. But he was/is brilliant and appears very personable. Very handsome too. Has many gifts....just a crap start in life. It was enough. Being parentless with no steady caregiver in an orphanage for six years means he spent his formative years without love. And that is significant. And very sad. I get why he is the way he is. Goneboy always felt badly about being an orphan, as he called himself. His self esteem was very low in spite of his gifts. He always needed to be the best, have the most. These are not bad traits. But he was close to Princess for a while and she describes him this way. "He is like a robot. He has no emotions. No feelings." He kind of uses and, from very young, always used money as his identity. He aced school. He skipped college but started up his own highly successful company and has always kind of looked down on us for not being rich. He used to mostly hang out with rich kids. He admired wealthy toys, big houses, fancy cars. He had two cats that he named Lexus and Mercedes. But when Goneboy grew up with us, we were just working class. He had bigger plans and probably wished a more financially successful family had adopted him. He was savvy at making money from age 12 and saved every penny. He learned to build computers and had mentors. And so we went on until Goneboy married. This was also after ex and I had gotten a friendly divorce. I remarried by then and had adopted Sonic and Jumper. All of our lives went on. Goneboy eventually dumped all of us, except for my ex, who, after his mother had died, inherited a mint. As in lots and lots of money. Except for ex, nobody has seen Goneboy in over a decade. Or his wife. Only ex met his two boys. Backing up a little, I met Goneboy's wife but she gave both me and Princess a weird vibe. Hard to explain. She was from Goneboy's country of origin and not very Americanized but that was not it. But the few times we socialized with her we were all very nice to her. But they both dsappeared soon after the weddng without explaining why. Time went on. I grieved and got over it, like a death. Very similar. I got lots of therapy. I am fine about it today. He obviously had attachment problems. Life continued and got really good again. Through the years ex, who is now rich, would be the only person Goneboy ever sees. But ex would call me sometimes to complain about him. Goneboy was never around him much nor did he call much or see him much or EVER ask him over for any holiday. He didnt even call to wish him happy holidays. This was ongoing. I never knew what to say. He was looking to me to comfort him over somebody whom I had loved to pieces but whom would no longer talk to me. I mostly listened. Goneboy was around ex enough, with his two sons, for ex to keep him in his hefty will. In my heart I felt this was the only reason why Goneboy saw my ex at all. He had what Goneboy most admired....money. its not like Goneboy saw anyone else. Time marches on. My ex is older now and not healthy and tried to reach Goneboy this year from before Thanksgiving until Christmas with no response. This is after Goneboy had recently called ex to ask for $100,000 to help him buy land for his dream home in a very wealthy Chicago suburb. Goneboy is a millionaire on his own. But it is never enough. He used the argument to ex that his wife's family already gave $100,000. Ex never believed that her parents did that or even had enough money to gift that. He was upset by the request. After ex firmly turned him down, he stopped hearing from Goneboy. And it alarmed him and very much upset him. Ex recently wrote him out of his will. He is very sad about feeling he has to do this. I am sure it is even harder for him than it was for me to lose him and it was HARD for me. I feel really badly for ex. Although Goneboy only bothered to see him a few times a year, he was ex's favorite for a very long time. Sometimes ex had warned Goneboy by email that he would disinherit him if he doesnt hear from him soon and Goneboy always called pronto. This time he didnt send a warning and just talked it over with his brother, whom he really looks up to and goes to for advice. His brother told him that he was being treated like #$&@ and that if it were him he would cut him off. His brother was outraged by the behaviors ex described. I have no idea what they really discussed...not the details. Probably worse treatment than anyone but they know. Whether ex changes his mind if Goneboy finds out and quickly contacts him, nobody can guess. But this is the first time me and the other kids realize just how little Goneboy sees his father. My ex is very isolated so I feel terrible about it. My daughter Princess tries to see him with Baby at least once a week. She is his only constant visitor. My ex is very different type of person, but he isnt a bad man. I am so sorry that Goneboy did this to him. Ex's only other close relatives are Princess, his brother who doesnt live that close to him, and Bart and his son who live in St. Louis. He has NO friends. No SO. Very much a loner. And alone. And I am sure he now feels more alone. I am going to give him a call. Well....just a sad vent. Thanks for listening.