Good vibes please

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by ColleenB, Jul 13, 2017.

  1. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    Hey there....

    We have been away now almost two weeks and haven't talked much with oldest son. He has a doctors appointment this week, and we have no idea if he even went. However, at this point it's totally his decision and I will not take ownership of his decisions.

    I'm asking for some positive vibes or prayers as I am having some Heath issues that have escalated during our vacation. It's been a wonderful visit with my family and I have been so grateful for this time with my nieces and nephew.... but I have not slept an entire night and am becoming really anxious. I am having some internal issues that are making my life very difficult and I need to get home and in to see my doctor.

    I'm so sad tonight as I feel I can't even have a break and enjoy some time away as I've been so uncomfortable and ill this past two weeks. I think we are going to skip the weekend in Boston we had planned for the way home and drive straight through. I had so looked forward to this trip and now I just want to go home. We will lose the cost of the hotel, which I hate but I can't even sleep longer than a few hours and I feel terrible.

    Tried to call son last night and no answer which of course makes me more anxious.

    Sigh.... just feeling a little defeated tonight.
     
  2. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Ugh. Everything is worse when you can't sleep. Sending healing vibes your way ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Colleen

    So sorry you are suffering.

    I have had a lot of weird medical type things happen to me due to stress also.

    However after almost six years of this I have really detached so much and I am so proud of myself. I knew that I could not continue to live that way which was really NOT living but surviving.

    Please get to the doctor and get something for your nerves and to help you sleep - for now.

    As you know your suffering is NOT helping your son one iota. If it was, we'd all gladly do it!!

    Don't wait until he is "ready" to change. We finally stopped the madness and it was the best decision we ever made for US.

    Prayers, cyber good vibes and hugs.
     
  4. mof

    mof Momdidntsignupforthis

    Colleen,

    Healing prayers of course! We went away too and the pain I too felt came back and the loss of sleep just makes your mind wander.

    We are detaching from our son too, he was doing so well and now wants to do it himself yet not. There was some drama while we were gone and now I hold resentment all over again. It's his life...I am cutting him loose. PrAyers for our sons, but we have to take care of ourselves!!!!

    Positive vibes and safe travels,
    Mof
     
  5. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Prayers for better health and for peace.
     
  6. Dawn Marie

    Dawn Marie New Member

    Sending prayers, strength and hugs.
     
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending prayers and warm wishes for your health and well being.
    When you're feeling better update us on how you are.
    Hang in there.....
     
  8. ColleenB

    ColleenB Active Member

    Home now...on antibiotics and have seen a doctor. Waiting to see a specialist, but feel much better already. Thank you for the good vibes :)

    Oldest son is asleep as I type. He has moved into an apartment but spent the night here last night. He claims he is having major sleep disturbances which are making him quite frustrated. He missed a doctors appointment we had set up for him, as well as his addiction counsellor appointment. There is nothing I can do and I can't be bothered to even get angry. It's his life, and his choices.

    I don't have any idea if he is using again. He may be or he may be trying and his sleep is a mess due to past use. I don't know.

    He received his statement for student loans for next year, and as much as I hate the idea of him in debt, he seems happy about the Art college so we want to support him. We won't give him any money, he has the loans which are in his name only. Hoping he can do it.

    Husband was so upset yesterday, even cried, which he rarely does. Said he feels so depressed about our son and all that he has done. I think the last four years have finally caught up with him. He has been the rock and now he feels depleated. I hope he can find some help or support but he doesn't like to talk to others. I made him go to counselling a few years ago with me but he hated it.

    Trying to pick myself up and move forward.... I am not happy but I am not sad either. I think I'm a bit numb at this point. I don't know how to be hopeful, but I am trying.

    Focusing on projects around the house, and stuff for my new job at the elementary school in September.

    Holding my own.... hugs to all of those who are living with addiction xoxo
     
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  9. seek

    seek Member

    Take good care of yourself.
     
  10. Littleboylost

    Littleboylost Member

    It is so draining and they have no regard for our health or well being. They don't see the chaos they. Cause. So tiring, I am sleeping a bit better ...unless Difficult Child calls at 1 am. Which I have repeatedly asked him not to do. Depression has lifted after seeing my doctor and getting some medication. Guilt comes in waves. Learning to detach is a processs. My best wished for you to feel better and stay well mentally and physically.