He has a warrant for his arrest. Please think about it from your head not your heart. Then decide. I know. It's excutiating for us.
Although we never turned Kay into the police when she got violent, and we probably would have helped her avoid a warrant too, I just want to share that I am sorry that we had not reacted differently than we had. Nobody can tell you what to do but we can share our experiences. Second and third chances and a ton of money to "help" Kay just made it all the harder when we finally told her we were done. Being loving parents rather than parents with boundaries did not help her one bit. In fact it gave her the idea that we should always rescue her. She exploded on us when we finally stopped.
In the middle of the night your son had probably been drinking even if he didn't sound like it. It is up to you how you respond. But you can't help him just as we could not help Kay.
One thing we did stick to was that Kay could not live with us again after she threw a vase at my son's neck and came close to hitting him with it. But we bought her a few places to live and when that didn't work out (Kay was always still Kay) we paid her rent. She and her husband were always so loud and disruptive that they got evicted. They also refused to pay the little we asked of them, such as utilities. Now they are homeless and on all sorts of monetary programs from the state. Not saying this will happen to your son if you help him. Just telling our story. It is all I have to share.
Those messages from the middle of the night are soooo hard. I know Kay only did that when she wanted something. It was always about her needs, never anyone else. That's why we finally put the phone in a drawer during certain hours.
in my opinion your son is manipulating you. Even calling your house a mansion...in my opinion he said that to make you feel guilty. Kay did this a lot, leaving passive aggressive messages like that "Maybe you have enough money to give some to your hungry daughter and grandchild? I need to buy food." She would throw a fit if we offered to shop with her. She wanted cash only probably for drugs. Anyway these words used this way were her way of letting us know she thought we were rich. Also the only time she admitted to being my daughter was when she wanted a favor. She used our grandson to make us feel horrible and it worked until Kay finally relinquished custody of him to our other daughter.
I found that although Kay played us well, Kay never got away with anything from outsiders. Although she was never put in jail, she got evicted probably a record amount of times for the same reasons. Few of our kids learn easily or embrace getting help. Your son can turn his life around but he needs an incentive to do so in my opinion.
How did your son behave last time he was home? That's how it would be this time. Also I'm not in law enforcement or a lawyer, but would YOU get into trouble for allowing him to live with you while he has a warrant? This I don't know.
These are hard choices we face with no easy choices.
Hugs and love.