witzend
Well-Known Member
How are you doing? I know you got your own room, and that must be a relief. I'm going to be a bit of your old Auntie - cheerleader here and ask if you have given some serious thought to the offer to put difficult child 1 into the Partial Living Residence?
I know you're scared that it might fail, or that he will do something awful. But you have to know also that he might succeed. I realize the chances are slim but you have to give him a chance. It's being offered to you right this very second and these opportunities don't always last or come back when you need them.
He might fail while living with you, too. Some might tell you that he is is failing right now, and you are just too close to see it.
There's no way to know what will happen. Our kids have to leave home sometime, and to have him leave and try when there is such a strong support system is the best time. If it doesn't work out, he can always come back to you, but if he comes back it will be with the first hand knowledge that it really isn't as easy as he has always thought it would be.
I'm begging you, for your son and for your difficult child 2, and for yourself and your parents, please go talk to the people who are offering this about particulars. Voice your fears and ask how they would handle it. PM Fran to talk about how scared she was for her son. I can tell you how scared I was for M. Both of our children are doing far better than we thought that they could. M has a regular job, got past the 90 day probation period, and got a raise and a clothing allowance. Five years ago he had assaulted his father, was on probation, and living in a Transitional Living Center. Or PM Critter Gitter, she is going through this right now.
But whatever you do, don't just blow this off. It's a golden opportunity, and he gets to live his own life this way. Good or bad, that's the least that we owe our children. I know you're frightened and worried, but it's time to let him try.
I know you're scared that it might fail, or that he will do something awful. But you have to know also that he might succeed. I realize the chances are slim but you have to give him a chance. It's being offered to you right this very second and these opportunities don't always last or come back when you need them.
He might fail while living with you, too. Some might tell you that he is is failing right now, and you are just too close to see it.
There's no way to know what will happen. Our kids have to leave home sometime, and to have him leave and try when there is such a strong support system is the best time. If it doesn't work out, he can always come back to you, but if he comes back it will be with the first hand knowledge that it really isn't as easy as he has always thought it would be.
I'm begging you, for your son and for your difficult child 2, and for yourself and your parents, please go talk to the people who are offering this about particulars. Voice your fears and ask how they would handle it. PM Fran to talk about how scared she was for her son. I can tell you how scared I was for M. Both of our children are doing far better than we thought that they could. M has a regular job, got past the 90 day probation period, and got a raise and a clothing allowance. Five years ago he had assaulted his father, was on probation, and living in a Transitional Living Center. Or PM Critter Gitter, she is going through this right now.
But whatever you do, don't just blow this off. It's a golden opportunity, and he gets to live his own life this way. Good or bad, that's the least that we owe our children. I know you're frightened and worried, but it's time to let him try.