I survived the last several days - dropped my grandson off at rehab yesterday. There were some very upsetting moments - he was detoxing and often has "psychotic" episodes, where he just jumps up and says he has to leave - prior to that he is sane, logical, putting together a plan to go to rehab - then all of a sudden a switch is flipped - he gets angry - jumps up and says he's leaving. He did that a couple of times. I took his keys, but then gave them back (actually put them in what I thought was my pocket, but was just in my pants, so then I had to dig around in my pants to get them - and he was laughing at this - it was pretty ridiculous). I then just went in my bedroom and eventually went to bed and he fell asleep in the living room (had not slept at all the night before). He shared some heartbreaking info with me that I am trying to process (and his relative did too, and it is just so awful). I am trying to focus on positive stuff, but I have to process my feelings about the sad/upsetting stuff I heard - I am not sure what to do with it. The hardest thing is knowing someone you love is actively trying to destroy their health and that the person has self-loathing and self-hatred. It's horrible and I will never get over it.