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Substance Abuse
Guns, gangs, things have gotten worst!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 759845" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear Helpless (aka no longer helpless)</p><p></p><p>I feel heartbroken and concerned at this turn of events. And so very, very sorry.</p><p></p><p>All along I felt that your son was full of himself, and boy is that the case. He is running wild in the streets and bringing trouble to anybody in his orbit. He will not stop until he is contained. He has become a full-fledged little criminal. As such, he will be bringing on himself a huge amount of trouble and hurt.</p><p></p><p>I think you are taking the exact right course of action, and thinking the exact right things, about what is going on.</p><p></p><p>I agree 100 percent with RN. We ALL of us hold out for and hold onto hope. We NEED them to be OK, to make ourselves feel OK. For the longest time, we do not feel separation from them--our well-being feels contingent to and connected with their well-being. I guess at the end of the day I define detachment as putting an end to this enmeshment. The recognition and acceptance that they are separate people and that means that they become separate from our dreams for them and our need that they are okay-- so that we may okay. After all of these years on this forum, I am only now getting to this point. A little bit. You are a fast learner!</p><p></p><p>I think you are exactly right to cut all ties, and to do whatever it takes that he is detained, controlled, and confined--and that the consequences of his actions do not affect you or the family, or anybody else, for that matter.</p><p></p><p>He has been gone from your home for a while now. I think that there is reason to hope that whatever connections he has, are no longer linked to your home and family. But I understand totally and feel with you how scary this is.</p><p></p><p>He is really on a rampage. Running wild in the streets.</p><p></p><p>But this has had the effect of centering you, in yourself, so that you know and act from your priorities. This is a good thing. </p><p></p><p>His story now is not about you. You no longer have a role here, except to get yourself completely out of his story. That is one powerful effect, I think.</p><p></p><p>This was a betrayal on his part. I think he will no longer be able to rope you in. He was living a double life. Pretending to be one thing, while he was a different thing entirely.</p><p></p><p>That hidden thing has now burst open and colored every reality of which he is part. He has defined himself and the consequences will be great. At least for a time. This isn't necessarily the worst thing, really, that he be confined and controlled until he matures. All of it, at last, will be on him. As it should be.</p><p></p><p>The last thing I will say is how very sorry I am, helpless.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 759845, member: 18958"] Dear Helpless (aka no longer helpless) I feel heartbroken and concerned at this turn of events. And so very, very sorry. All along I felt that your son was full of himself, and boy is that the case. He is running wild in the streets and bringing trouble to anybody in his orbit. He will not stop until he is contained. He has become a full-fledged little criminal. As such, he will be bringing on himself a huge amount of trouble and hurt. I think you are taking the exact right course of action, and thinking the exact right things, about what is going on. I agree 100 percent with RN. We ALL of us hold out for and hold onto hope. We NEED them to be OK, to make ourselves feel OK. For the longest time, we do not feel separation from them--our well-being feels contingent to and connected with their well-being. I guess at the end of the day I define detachment as putting an end to this enmeshment. The recognition and acceptance that they are separate people and that means that they become separate from our dreams for them and our need that they are okay-- so that we may okay. After all of these years on this forum, I am only now getting to this point. A little bit. You are a fast learner! I think you are exactly right to cut all ties, and to do whatever it takes that he is detained, controlled, and confined--and that the consequences of his actions do not affect you or the family, or anybody else, for that matter. He has been gone from your home for a while now. I think that there is reason to hope that whatever connections he has, are no longer linked to your home and family. But I understand totally and feel with you how scary this is. He is really on a rampage. Running wild in the streets. But this has had the effect of centering you, in yourself, so that you know and act from your priorities. This is a good thing. His story now is not about you. You no longer have a role here, except to get yourself completely out of his story. That is one powerful effect, I think. This was a betrayal on his part. I think he will no longer be able to rope you in. He was living a double life. Pretending to be one thing, while he was a different thing entirely. That hidden thing has now burst open and colored every reality of which he is part. He has defined himself and the consequences will be great. At least for a time. This isn't necessarily the worst thing, really, that he be confined and controlled until he matures. All of it, at last, will be on him. As it should be. The last thing I will say is how very sorry I am, helpless. [/QUOTE]
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