Hanging In There

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Overwhelmed 61, Jan 14, 2020.

  1. Overwhelmed1

    Overwhelmed1 Active Member

    Well, it's been 5 days since I have spoke to my daughter. She was very upset the last time we did speak. We have texted and I was able to get my point across without the nasty interruptions and loudness.
    Not that she didn't write them in a text but I was able to choose not to read them. Texting works better for me. And it's been days since we have done that.

    I can't say the silence has been completely without consequences
    but I won't get into that. Just know I am handling it and won't let it happen again.

    Live and learn right?

    I feel like I am getting smarter, able to stand up for myself and make better decisions. Now I'm not taking the credit for this but giving the credit to you lovely people that have read, responded gracefully and encouraged me without judgement.
    Thank you all so much!!!

    Peace and Love
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  2. Nandina

    Nandina Member

    But it’s you who have done the work, Overwhelmed. Bravo!
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  3. Overwhelmed1

    Overwhelmed1 Active Member

    Thank you Nandina but it is the people here who have made me understand it's OK to walk away from the abuse and that it doesn't mean I don't Love them still.
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  4. JMom

    JMom Active Member

    Look at ya! Very proud of you. You took a huge step in reclaiming your life.

    I'm doing a happy dance for you. Whoop whoop!

    Silence is ok, embrace it. Don't do anything foolish. I'm a cop, I'd find you and throw flowers at you.

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  5. Across The Pond

    Across The Pond New Member

    Great moves !
  6. Blindsided

    Blindsided Face the Sun

    We learn to take every step to inner healing and hold it close to our heart so we will be stronger for the next time. No matter how small or how big, it is ours alone to claim. We support each other, we pay it forward, but in the end, it is up to each of us to make decisions based on our personal circumstances tat only we know in full.

    Gratitude is a kind thing we do for one another, it is something positive in the negativity, but you did the work, and I sure know an accomplishment that is.

  7. Acacia

    Acacia Active Member

    Good for you!

    We start with small steps. Sometimes we give in, but as we get stronger, we're able to hold boundaries better.
    We get to have flexible boundaries, but the important thing is we get to decide what is good for us or not.

    You said there were consequences. Unhealthy people don't like when others set boundaries with them, so pushback and anger are not uncommon.
    This is hard work, so give yourself credit for taking care of you.
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  8. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    :choir::choir: You go girl!
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  9. Triedntrue

    Triedntrue Well-Known Member

  10. ChickPea

    ChickPea Active Member

    Good for you. Sometimes the silence, and breaking the patterns, are exactly what we need.
  11. Beta

    Beta Active Member

    The difference between your first posts and the most recent ones is obvious--you sound stronger and less like a "victim." I've been reading your posts since you first found us, and I am so happy to see you begin to set boundaries. I think the people on this site are extraordinary parents who deeply love their kids; otherwise, why would we be in so much emotional turmoil and feel so obligated to them?
    We help and support each other as we try to establish healthy boundaries with these Difficult Child's. It is a hard and long process; at least for me! Glad your here.
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  12. BusynMember

    BusynMember Well-Known Member

    We all grow or we never regain our lives.

    I used to be in chronic panic. I even took an antidepressant because it was affecting my ability to work, to even get up in the morning and face the day.

    Those days are behind me. I slip up and when I am forced to think about Kay, due to Jaden, I do get sad. But it's not the same as it once was. I can dig myself out.

    Please keep making progress. They don't get better just because we can't function. Our suffering doesn't help them.

    You sound better.

    God bless.