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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
He can't come home for Christmas...
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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 7701" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>If it's any consolation, your son's behavior seems to be similar to my Rob's behavior when he was at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). There was the initial honeymoon, then a deep depression (where your son is now), then slowly but surely Rob dug his way out. I expect that your son will dig out on his own time. Hopefully sooner than later.</p><p></p><p>Through it all, we did visit every visiting day. There were occasions when we didn't stay the whole time---ie, if he was particularly disagreeable, nasty. Like Karen suggested, we let the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) worry about rules and levels and consequences and did not include us in those determinations.</p><p></p><p>Another good thing that came out of this is how specific your son was about being unable to handle the temptation when he was home. This is a HUGE flag to you to make sure that at his next home visit he is more closely supervised to reduce his stress. </p><p></p><p>My suggestion would be that when he is doing better, to not have any home visits for a long time. We had incremented visits with Rob. We had visits at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Then we had 2 hour visits off grounds. Then half day visits off grounds. Then all day...then home visits half a day, etc. I know you live too far away for shortened home visits. Maybe he could have a couple of time spending the night with you at the hotel. I remember well how disoriented Rob was when we even took him to a mall while he was at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because it was like it was a new environment again.....and, if the drug abuse was acute, perhaps it is.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for your pain. It really stinks to lose these days/weeks/months with our kids. I had to consider it an "investment in his future" when Rob was away. Sometimes that thought was the only thing that got me through the worst times.</p><p></p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 7701, member: 29"] If it's any consolation, your son's behavior seems to be similar to my Rob's behavior when he was at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). There was the initial honeymoon, then a deep depression (where your son is now), then slowly but surely Rob dug his way out. I expect that your son will dig out on his own time. Hopefully sooner than later. Through it all, we did visit every visiting day. There were occasions when we didn't stay the whole time---ie, if he was particularly disagreeable, nasty. Like Karen suggested, we let the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) worry about rules and levels and consequences and did not include us in those determinations. Another good thing that came out of this is how specific your son was about being unable to handle the temptation when he was home. This is a HUGE flag to you to make sure that at his next home visit he is more closely supervised to reduce his stress. My suggestion would be that when he is doing better, to not have any home visits for a long time. We had incremented visits with Rob. We had visits at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Then we had 2 hour visits off grounds. Then half day visits off grounds. Then all day...then home visits half a day, etc. I know you live too far away for shortened home visits. Maybe he could have a couple of time spending the night with you at the hotel. I remember well how disoriented Rob was when we even took him to a mall while he was at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) because it was like it was a new environment again.....and, if the drug abuse was acute, perhaps it is. I'm sorry for your pain. It really stinks to lose these days/weeks/months with our kids. I had to consider it an "investment in his future" when Rob was away. Sometimes that thought was the only thing that got me through the worst times. Suz [/QUOTE]
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He can't come home for Christmas...
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