lovemysons
Well-Known Member
Oh goodness. Once again I have to learn the hard way...I am not my son’s savior.
A few weeks ago my son (the younger one age 32 now) Found himself in another hospital in California after having suicidal ideation while on drugs. So of course...mom to the rescue, sigh.
I bought him a bus ticket home after he finally received his ID in the mail at the hospital. Hospital staff helped me arrange everything by printing out his ticket and getting him an Uber ride to Walmart (for travel money) and a ride to the bus station.
Well what do you think my son did with a bus ticket home in one hand and a $100 bill in the other?
After 3 days of not hearing from him, he finally called. But this time, this time I was ready for the call as dear husband and I discussed what needed to be done. It was an ah ha moment for me...Distance.
When our son called me , I asked what happened? All he said was that he was in a hospital for using drugs again but that we could get the bus ticket exchanged. I said, “No J. Listen to me...you need to get your life together and get off drugs for good. I love you dearly I just can’t keep going through this with you. Do not call me for the next 6 months. I do not want to talk to you again until September.” Then I hung up.
It finally came down to the most obvious fact... I can’t save this son. Anymore than I could save my oldest. He will have to do this by his own strength (and G-ds).
I have felt a tremendous peace lately. I often even forget to think about him during the day these days. I do pray for him almost every night though and am really “trusting” G-d to do the work in his life.
Distance that I have put in place between he and I is the only thing I haven’t tried before.
I am hoping it will make a difference in both of our “co-dependent“ lives.
LMS
A few weeks ago my son (the younger one age 32 now) Found himself in another hospital in California after having suicidal ideation while on drugs. So of course...mom to the rescue, sigh.
I bought him a bus ticket home after he finally received his ID in the mail at the hospital. Hospital staff helped me arrange everything by printing out his ticket and getting him an Uber ride to Walmart (for travel money) and a ride to the bus station.
Well what do you think my son did with a bus ticket home in one hand and a $100 bill in the other?
After 3 days of not hearing from him, he finally called. But this time, this time I was ready for the call as dear husband and I discussed what needed to be done. It was an ah ha moment for me...Distance.
When our son called me , I asked what happened? All he said was that he was in a hospital for using drugs again but that we could get the bus ticket exchanged. I said, “No J. Listen to me...you need to get your life together and get off drugs for good. I love you dearly I just can’t keep going through this with you. Do not call me for the next 6 months. I do not want to talk to you again until September.” Then I hung up.
It finally came down to the most obvious fact... I can’t save this son. Anymore than I could save my oldest. He will have to do this by his own strength (and G-ds).
I have felt a tremendous peace lately. I often even forget to think about him during the day these days. I do pray for him almost every night though and am really “trusting” G-d to do the work in his life.
Distance that I have put in place between he and I is the only thing I haven’t tried before.
I am hoping it will make a difference in both of our “co-dependent“ lives.
LMS