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Heart Broken Nightmare
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751016" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>You didn't do anything wrong. Its hard for ME to believe what I just told you. But it must be true because I also have two kids who have done everything right and are terrific young adults. Its not like we raised them differently, I don't think.</p><p></p><p>I think maybe some people are born with certain personality traits that are harder. Honestly, this is not something I thought about before, but Kay is adopted and from very young her personality was different from the rest of us. Her personality traits make her life more difficult for everyone, especially herself. We (the rest of us) tend to be very good problem solvers, calm and thoughtful, and we think before we act. Kay was born hyperactive, loud, quick to explode and very impulsive. She has not changed.</p><p></p><p>I tried hard to close my ears when our therapists told us this. We wanted to think that our good influence and values would override the other stuff. But she has never been like us. And she blasts us with venom for being boring and goody two shoes, just a few of her words for us.</p><p></p><p>I don't think we cause our troubled kids to be troubled. I think we just make everything worse when we enable their bad behavior. I don't believe that we caused that behavior in the first place, even though our kids relentlessly tell us its our fault.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751016, member: 23706"] You didn't do anything wrong. Its hard for ME to believe what I just told you. But it must be true because I also have two kids who have done everything right and are terrific young adults. Its not like we raised them differently, I don't think. I think maybe some people are born with certain personality traits that are harder. Honestly, this is not something I thought about before, but Kay is adopted and from very young her personality was different from the rest of us. Her personality traits make her life more difficult for everyone, especially herself. We (the rest of us) tend to be very good problem solvers, calm and thoughtful, and we think before we act. Kay was born hyperactive, loud, quick to explode and very impulsive. She has not changed. I tried hard to close my ears when our therapists told us this. We wanted to think that our good influence and values would override the other stuff. But she has never been like us. And she blasts us with venom for being boring and goody two shoes, just a few of her words for us. I don't think we cause our troubled kids to be troubled. I think we just make everything worse when we enable their bad behavior. I don't believe that we caused that behavior in the first place, even though our kids relentlessly tell us its our fault. [/QUOTE]
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