Help I need help with my 3 year old!!!

karif

crazymomof4
I need to know if anyone's child does this. Josh my difficult child vomits at least two times a week. For no reason, he isn;t sick or upset. Last night he didn't eat very much dinner. At bedtime we gave him his Abilify in his bottle yes he is still on a bottle. (don't even get me started on this one) After about 30 minutes he said his tummy hurt then he threw up. Not sure if this is normal.:sick:
 

SRL

Active Member
That would raise some concern for me since it's regular and unprovoked.

Does he do it routinely following eating or regularly after the bottle?
 

karif

crazymomof4
Yes usuall after a bottle of milk but not always. His psyc doctor was wondering about epilepsy so is his pediatrician doctor. I talked to her this morning after he threw up again and she said maybe abominal epilepsy. she said if it is that Abilify might make it worse. I am uterelly frustrated. We have lab work this monday. Help!!!:sick:
 

sandymorgan_503

New Member
Hi, I'm a lurker posting here for the first time because I strongly feel you need to check out the sensory integration disorder (Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)) stuff. Everything you've posted leads to the conclusion that he can't adequately process things coming at him and therefore can't make sense of the world. (failed his vision test, couldn't figure out how to do the hearing test, mouthing everything, still wanting a bottle and not eating a lot (maybe because of textures?) are all part of Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). Emotional volatility is also a part of this. The place to go to check this out is an Occupational Therapist (OT) who is qualified to give a test for this.

I came to this forum originally (as well as every psychiatric in the Pittsburgh, PA area) because of my 3 year old with violent temper tantrums 6-7 times a day that would last 40 minutes or more, with property damage and usually damage to me as well, hair pulling of her sister, etc... . My daughter is now almost 7 and still has her moments, but they are few and far between now. She has various sensory issues and once we began to do Occupational Therapist (OT) and give her what she needs at home (it's called a sensory diet), she very quickly began to be able to handle her world and now even knows when she needs a "sensory break" and will go off with for example, her play-doh or headphones and some music.

It does sound like there could be other stuff going on, but what you have written raises some red flags for Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).

Like you, I feel strongly that God has given me my child for a reason, and you very well may be the only one who can get him the help he needs. Good luck.

Sorry all, I'll read the signature post and get it together.

-Mom to 9 year old daughter and 6 year old difficult child. Happily married for 10 years.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Although karif has ignored me so far, I'm going to try again. This sounds way beyond Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). My son had Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) and this is violence. That doesn't mean she doesn't have Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), it just means that in my opinion it's not just Sensory Integration Disorder (SID).
I again say, this child was exposed to drugs and alcohol. He could have fetal alcohol spectrum effects. This will NOT respond to medications or behavioral therapy and it is beyond autism (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids improve with interventions). I am surprised karif won't address this--maybe this is too scary for her to contemplate, but with any child who was exposed to substances in utero, it is a common problem.
These are some of the most difficult children around because they don't understand right from wrong, and no amount of teaching can explain it to them. They need a special kind of help. This baby deserves a safe home, and he doesn't have it. If your difficult child is hitting the baby even when you hold him, I wonder if he is capable of living in a family environment. He is obviously not correctly diagnosed or treated, and does not learn from his mistakes and medication hasn't helped him. This is on the extreme even for kids adopted from foster care. It's true that you CAN lose your children if this baby is bruised. And CPS may decided YOU bruised the baby, rather than the difficult child. This is a hot potato. I'd do something fast. I'm not sure what you are open to doing, but I'd find out if Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) is an issue here and then discuss realistic options for this child. He may need to be placed elsewhere where there are no other children in order for you and your other kids to be safe. A friend of mine had two foster girls and one was much like your difficult child. One night, she tried to choke her foster sister. The foster sister could not scream for help and when a brother happened to pass by the room and saw it, by then the foster sister's neck was bleeding and red and full of welts. Everyone in the family, including the older kids, were questioned. The violent child was voluntarily removed, although they were going to adopt her. She has been through at least six placements since then. Some kids can not be saved in spite of our best intentions, and if you have other kids, you have to think of them too. If you want to parent this child, you need a total neuropsychologist evaluation (maybe once a year) to see the total picture of this child, and you need to face everything that may be wrong with him so that you can keep your other kids as safe as possible. Ok, I won't harp on the fetal alcohol part anymore, but..you seem, for some reason..not to even want to "go there" even though it is a distinct possibility with this child. Most parents here will not think of that becauce they did not adopt kids at all, let alone that were exposed to substances in utero, but, hey, I have. Good luck.
 

karif

crazymomof4
ok let me make one thing perfectly clear to everyone. I will not under any circumstances send my child away. NOt ever. We will not lose him nor our other children to cps. I know this has happened to some people and I am so sorry for that. He was drug exposed in utero this is true. He is not typical Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). I did ask his neuro doctor and said the same thing. I was at a party today and discussing his issues with another mom. Her kids have issues also. She thinks he has Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). The medications do help to some degree. AS far as cps goes, the doctors, social workers, therapists, and teachers that we work with all see what we go through. None of them think that I am incapable of keeping my family safe. As for now this is how I cam going to leave it. Hugs and kisses to all.;)
 

smallworld

Moderator
Hi Karif, I was interested in your comment about vomiting. My son used to vomit quite often (but not as frequently as yours), and we never understood it because he didn't seem sick. He would get sleepy, complain of a tummy ache, vomit and then be fine. We went on like this for several years, and at age 9, he finally told us he got frequent headaches. It turned out he has migraines that cause vomiting. He now takes a migraine preventive and is doing great.

This is all my long way of saying that you should see a pediatric neurologist to rule out migraine variants as well as epilepsy. It's important because there is treatment and atypical antipsychotics like Abilify can lower the seizure threshold. In addition, it's not a bad idea to see a pediatric gastroenterologist. Your difficult child could have GERD or another GI disorder, which could be painful and increasing his irritability.

Hope you get some answers soon.
 

SRL

Active Member
ok let me make one thing perfectly clear to everyone. I will not under any circumstances send my child away. NOt ever. We will not lose him nor our other children to cps. I know this has happened to some people and I am so sorry for that. He was drug exposed in utero this is true. He is not typical Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). ;)

I'd encourage everyone reading this thread to remember that this little guy is only 3 and karif is in the early stages of trying to piece together what's going on. It's unlikely that there's going to be any quick or easy answers, and unlikely that there will be only one factor involved. Let's pass along our ideas and experiences and she can take what's helpful rto her at this time and leave behind the rest.
 

karif

crazymomof4
Hi everyone,
I have been a little hesitant to revisit posting here but I feel like I get more support here than anywhere else at this point. My difficult child I think is making some progress. I do get frustrated because he is still on a bottle and still in diapers at 3 1/2 but I have to realize he is not a "normal" type kid and this to will take time. WE start the 0-5 program through the county mental health on Monday. I am hopeful but weary. I figure doing something is better than doing nothing. He is my precious gift and even though at times it can be very rough. I hold on to the great times when he says "I love you mama". He told me yesterday I was his friend. I really loved that. It all just makes me sad that he had such a rough start in life.:alien:
 

SRL

Active Member
It's pretty common for boys with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) to potty train late--often around age 5. I wouldn't worry about that quite yet. Just put it on the back burner. Early intervention preschool can be of help for some kids here.

The bottle may be of concern because of potential damage to the teeth. Weunderstand how difficult it is to break though! Have you had any success in backing off, diluting, changing the contents, etc?
 

karif

crazymomof4
Ok now I know the Abilify is really not working anymore. We go back to see the neuro doctor on Tuesday. He refuses to change medications over the phone. Does anyone have any suggestions as to type of medications I should ask for? He is back to not sleeping and habing really agressive behavior. I am very frustrated. We also got evaluated by the school district on Friday. All they said was that he had mild speech delay. That qualifies him for the two day a week class. I am not sure if this will be enough. I really don't know where else to turn. :whiteflag:
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
You are looking for medications to fix this. I don't think they will. You don't even really know what is wrong and don't seem to want to evaluate him by a neuropsychologist.
I think (my mom's opinion) he at least sounds like he could be on the autism spectrum. I'm not quite sure what you're looking for. We can't tell you what's wrong, we can't suggest medication, and you don't seem open to getting extra help outside of the school district and, trust me, they often miss the boat. What is it you want from us? We are trying to help.
 

karif

crazymomof4
Ok let me tell everyone what we have already tried. We have been evaluated by pshycologist,neurologist, county mental health 0-5 program, behavioral specialist and we are currently researching finding a neuropshy, however our insurance does not cover this and it is impossible to even find one in our area that will take on a 3 year old. So with this in mind I am not asking to diagnose my child, all I am asking is if anyone has had this same experience with Abilify. I know that we are not doctors but we are all parents that love our children and have been through alot. Please keep in mind my son is only 3 and in his 3 years the first 15 months of his life he was moved to 6 differan homes. He also had severe negelct and abuse, all of wich come into play with his diagnosis.:mad:
 

karif

crazymomof4
we went to neuro doctor today and he took us off Abilify and was put back of Respridol. I hope this works. He is back to not wanting to go to sleep and being up and down all night. Also his behaviors are all back.:tongue:
 

SRL

Active Member
You are looking for medications to fix this. I don't think they will. You don't even really know what is wrong and don't seem to want to evaluate him by a neuropsychologist.
I think (my mom's opinion) he at least sounds like he could be on the autism spectrum. I'm not quite sure what you're looking for. We can't tell you what's wrong, we can't suggest medication, and you don't seem open to getting extra help outside of the school district and, trust me, they often miss the boat. What is it you want from us? We are trying to help.

Midwestmom,

I tried to find a PM for you to address this but it is disabled. I'm going to ask you to ease up on karif, who is a new parent here who is doing her best in these initial steps to help her son. Most of us took years to get to our answers and find appropriate interventions. All parents need to wade through the mental process and then take thier own pathway... and that's not always going to gel with what others might think is best.

SRL
 
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smallworld

Moderator
Karif, I'm sorry things have been so rough for your little guy. I haven't had experience with Abilify, but my kids have been on Risperdal, Zyprexa and Seroquel (also atypical antipsychotics like Abilify). It is very common for the initial dose to work for a little while and then for its effectiveness to wear off. Quite frequently, the initial dose needs to be increased. I'm guessing that's what happened with Abilify, but perhaps the neuro was reluctant to increase it because of your difficult child's age. I hope Risperdal does the trick.
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Hi karif, I am amazed at how much you have accomplished by the tender age of 3.
I was still listening to pediatricians tell me that "boys will be boys" or "he is just very bright". You are advocating for your child with great perserverance.
I suspect once he starts the early intervention program on Monday they will see that he needs more supports than what they offered at first glance.
Best of luck and keep your warrior mom head held high.
 

karif

crazymomof4
I thought that we had struck gold my husband found a pediatric neurophsc at Azusa Pacific. We were all excited they said they see patients as young as Josh. Then when I called they do not take insurance and it would be 2000.00 to start. Wow! I have called the numbers my insurance company gave me not only are the phsyc far away none treat patients as young as 3. He is having a bad day today with changing medications last night. He also had a bad night last night,not sleeping up and down all night. I need a vacation! :tongue:
 

smallworld

Moderator
You should ask your insurance company whether a neuropsychologist evaluation will be covered if you submit the bills for reimbursement.
 
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